Need a laugh...read Cosmo.

The other day when I went online an article popped up on my msn home page...something like "Four Crucial Kisses You Must Master to Drive your Man Wild". Need I even mention that the article was from Cosmo Magazine? Anyway, the title drew me in...I clicked on it.

Now I would be lying if I said I never read a Cosmo magazine. I remember when I first started teaching around 9 years ago. I was teaching 5th grade and all fifth graders get to go to a week long camp...and yes, teachers had to go too. I remember numerous nights us teachers stayed up way too late talking...and most of conversations stemmed from the Cosmo magazines we brought. Ahhh...good times.

So anyway, back to the four crucial kisses. Ryan and I were in hysterics reading this article! The first crucial kiss: The Hot Hello.

See if you can read this and keep a straight face...I mean seriously, are they for real?!

"The hot hello actually starts long before your lips meet. Let's set the scene: You see your guy. Maybe he's working his way across the bar, maybe he's standing on your doorstep. You lock eyes, flash him a smile, and slowly begin your approach, maintaining eye contact the whole way. When he's in close range, utter a husky "Hey there, gorgeous" and press your body up against his. This is key for creating intimacy: You don't want to strike the disastrous A-frame pose (think lips together, hips miles apart), according to William Cane, kissing coach and author of The Art of Kissing.

Okay, bodies meshed? Roger that. Now it's time to pucker up, baby. Wrap your hand around the nape of his neck and pull his face gently toward you. When your mouths finally meet, maintain a strong but closed-lip seal for up to 10 sultry seconds."

I think the part when it says, "utter a husky "Hey there, gorgeous." made me lose it! I think I would scare Ryan away if I did that! First of all, the word "husky" is just not an attractive word to me.

And then the part where it says, "maintain a strong but closed-lip seal for up to 10 seconds"...that's a long time! Of course Ryan and I had to try it immediately! We failed...I couldn't keep a straight face, I laughed every time. Of course I couldn't leave out the husky "Hey there gorgeous." right before it...so maybe that had something to do with not being able to make it 10 seconds without laughing.

The other crucial kisses: The Movie Start Make-Out, The Sweet Tease, and The Sizzling Send Off. If you want a good laugh you might want to click over to Cosmo Magazine!

Besides, we all know what a man really wants...they don't care about kissing. All they want are boobs. Flash him a boob...and you got your man.