Feeling Sorry for Myself

It's one of those days that I just want to sit around and feel sorry for myself...we all have days like that, right?

The truth is I'm in a whiny mood and I just want to complain...and cry...and be alone...but that's hard to do with two kids running through the house. Not that I want any one's help...I don't...I just want to complain. A "woe is me" kind of post.

My brother's are out skiing for the day, Ryan is racing all day...me, did the dishes and I'm trying to muster up the energy to fold some clothes. I'm the fat pregnant lady hanging out with the children. So glamorous. The fact is, the majority of the time, Saturday is no different around here. It's just like a week day. Bathrooms still needs to get clean, and the kids need someone to take care of them. It's so easy to stay in the same routine, day after day...and before I know it...I feel like I'm drowning. I love what I do, I love being able to stay at home with my children...I'm blessed. But every now and then I get days like these. I begin to lose myself in motherhood. I forget to keep doing the things I love...what do I love to do?...I'm not even sure any more.

Maybe it's the weather (which, by the way is awful, and depressing in itself). Maybe it's because I'm nine months pregnant, sore, and uncomfortable. Maybe it's because I'm sick with a nasty cold. Maybe it's because I'm not getting any sleep. Maybe it's jealously that everyone is out and about doing what they love...and I want to go...but I can't. What ever the reason...I'm definitely in a wretched mood.

I need a good smack in the face to help me snap out of this funk. I hate feeling this way. It makes me sound...well...pathetic. But if I pretended every day was roses...that would be a lie.

I really hope I don't go into labor today...I just don't have any fight in me.

I'm glad tomorrow is Easter.

I'll get back to my normal self...I always do. I think I'll go eat that last piece of brownie. Chocolate always does wonders to improve a depressed, "woe is me" kinda mood.