...but baby number 4 is on the way.
*Yes, I'm aware that Piper is not even one yet.
*And that I just stopped nursing two days ago. I was supposed to feel liberated...free as a bird...have my body back. (I guess that will take a backseat)
*I'm also aware that Ryan just quit his job (steady paycheck) to become self employed (which will be hard now...but much better in the long run).
*I'm also aware that we are losing our benefits starting in May, and we'll have to start paying for our own plan.
*And pretty much every health insurance plan comes with a separate maternity deductible of $7500...which basically means we pay for the entire pregnancy and birth. Can we say home birth?! Yes, please! Okay, not really...but that would save us some serious cashola!
*Money is very tight right now.
*I'm also aware that we don't have a vehicle big enough for a family of six at this point.
Yes, I'm scared...timing is really bad. Can you tell this was an "oops" pregnancy? Learn from me: take your pill everyday and don't use breastfeeding as a form of contraceptive.
But once I got over the initial shock of it all...I realized how much I love this little baby already. How protective I am of my body. I'm already a nervous wreck! Is it secure in there...did it latch on good? Did it find a good spot in there? Do you have enough nutrients? Do you know how much I love you?
I've been feeling a little on the funky side this past week (a bit of bleeding here and there...this has happened for every pregnancy I've had, but still scares me every time). I just hope and pray that it will be a healthy pregnancy.
So although bad timing...I do want this baby...so very much! We'll figure everything else out...we always do.
Oh Kelly, congrats! You are an amazing mom and you can totally handle another little one. Hope you are feeling okay and that you get a minute or two (ha!) to yourself!
ReplyDeleteWOW! While you are going to have your hands full you are going to be awesome! I know how you feel. I was not ready to get pregnant yet when I did with Gannon. It took me a minute or two to wrap my head around it. I think it is so wonderful though!! Congratulations! I just had my tubes tied with Gannon and it is definatly bittersweet!!! This lil one was definatly meant to be. Hey maybe a boy.....??
ReplyDeleteHoly cow, Kelly. Such great news! I can completely understand where your stress would come from. You have a beautiful perspective, and I'm excited to hear how things work out!
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