I've been confined to a silent house all afternoon and evening...going on 6 1/2 hours now. Ryan took Haley and Morgan to a Fall type carnival thing and Piper is at my mom's house. I know having a long uninterrupted break from a chaotic household sounds lovely to any other mom. And normally it would be pretty nice for me too. But, I'm limited with what I can do to pass the time. And something about this very quiet house makes me really miss my family. I get sad very easily. I miss being a normal family. I wanted to go with them today.
Why is this so hard for me?
People may think, "How hard can it be? Give me a break?"
But seriously, bed rest is torture for me.
Having my mom here during the week helping me has been my saving grace. I know she's working really hard with keeping our routine with the kids, but we get to chat throughout the day and that helps pass the time. There's also meal planning that we have to do and I do homework with the kids and my mom and I have been doing a lot of organizing (well, as much as I can do from the couch that is)...all these things keep my mind occupied. I feel a bit more involved during the week...which is nice.
But come the weekend...I really start to get down. I want to join in with the family activities...making a big breakfast, taking the dogs to the park, going on a hike to see the Fall colors (which look amazing from my window by the way), just normal family stuff. I miss it. Sometimes I long for the week to start again, just so it's normal everyday stuff (school, homework, dinner) I don't feel like I'm missing out as much. But, I'm glad my family is having fun. I know the girls are having a great time. I just wish I could see them having a great time...hopefully Ryan got some good pictures of them running around today.
This is TEMPORARY...I need to keep reminding myself.
Yes, I know I'm wallowing again. But you know what? This is my journal! And if I feel sad or down or frustrated, I need to write about it. It helps...a little.
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