Mt. Biking, Dog Poop and a Confession

 Isn't this a good picture of Morgan?  I didn't take it...someone else did and then sent it to me.  It was from the Wednesday night mountain bike race.  And speaking of the mountain bike race...well, I'm pretty sure I was last...dead last in my category.  Wait...I didn't!!!   I just checked the results and I beat two people!!  How exciting...hopefully they weren't little kids or anything, my ego is already shattered, I don't need it to get any worse.  Just kidding...but seriously...I pretty much suck...I've got to do something about that, STAT!  But the good thing is my children have no idea where I place, they are just super stoked and tell me how awesome I did (Piper especially).  That makes me happy.

 So...onto a different subject.  We have a mysterious dog walker who lets their dog poop on our sidewalk and doesn't clean it up.  Sometimes it's in front of our house, sometimes it's in front of the neighbors, but there is usually poop somewhere within a block of our house.

So this morning I loaded the girls into the truck to go on some errands, but before I back out I walk to the street to bring the trash cans in.  What do you know...fresh poop...right by the driveway.  I look up and spot culprit!!!  A lady with her dog way down the street!! You bet I jumped into the car (after I quickly cleaned up the poop myself...I didn't want to run it over) and peeled out (not really, but it sounds good) to catch her!  Which I did.  I pulled up beside her and let her have it!  Okay, not really, she was really nice about it so I didn't have to get all bitchy with her.  So yeah...bottom line...clean up after your dog!!  That's just rude not to!

Then it was off to the store, which was most likely one of my worst shopping experiences.  Piper had the biggest fit about not getting a certain pair of shoes (I was picking up some sandals for Haley, Piper already has a pair that fit her).  She screamed, and when I say screamed, I mean SCREAMED for just about the entire time I was there.  It was awful...and embarrassing.  I had three big bins in the cart so I had to take the girls out, and they were both being very naughty and running away too (I think Piper kept wanting to escape to find the shoe section again).  So it just wasn't fun to say the least.  

So I bought myself this.

It doesn't help that they now have a Starbucks inside the Target...it was a moment of weakness.  I have to take the girls to their school's big end of the year carnival this evening, I was tired, Ryan is gone and my parents left yesterday back to the LBC for a week, I was feeling lonely...I bought it in desperation.  It's pretty risky buying coffee around here.  This area isn't all that big and when I'm out and about I usually run into someone I know...seriously.  And since everyone and their mother is LDS I feel like a rebel and try not to make eye contact with anyone, and sneak out as fast as I can (which really isn't easy when I have two loud children in tow, but I pretend).  But can I just say...it.was.so.good.  My guilty pleasure: Latte with one Splenda.  Perfection.

So, anyway...there you have it...my little confession for the day.  I never said I was perfect.  I'll start over tomorrow.  As Anne of Green Gables says, "Tomorrow is fresh...with no mistakes in it."  Actually I think Marilla said it first...but whatever.

Now, I'm ready to tackle this Carnival.  Bring it on!

Confession

Today I had a cup of coffee.

I brewed it myself.

Nobody knew about it...until now.

I had very little sleep this weekend, and then last night I stayed up waaaay too late watching a movie...yeah, by myself since Ryan was in CO.  And then when I finally did go to bed around midnight I couldn't fall asleep...it was awful.  Rory was up by 6:15 this morning and boy, did I really regret staying up the night before...darn that movie!  I got everyone out the door by 8:15 for Haley's swim practice, but I admit I was a zombie all morning.  I felt exactly like a did the day after I quit coffee a year ago: headache, heavy eyes, weak, and an uncontrollable desire to cry because you feel so tired.  I needed a pick-me-up if I wanted to make it through the day...and I didn't want a crummy soda or a nasty sports drink...I wanted a cup of coffee.

It was a moment of weakness. 

Drained

I won't lie, this week has been tough without Ryan.  Can I complain a little?  I feel like complaining.  I'm not sure what happened...I've hit a brick wall...I've had it...I need a break.  Rory has NOT been sleeping well this week.  Last night she got up every hour until 2 in the morning.  To get her to calm down I have to pat her back for about ten minutes in my zombie-like state and then very quietly tip toe out of the room.  Sometimes it works, sometimes she just has to cry it out.  Plus, Piper wakes up throughout the night because she accidentally rolls onto her back and hits her staples in her head...which hurts, really bad!  I'll rock her a bit to calm her down.  And then Morgan has had nightmares the last two nights, which results in her sleeping in my bed.  Needless to say, I'm tired.

Also I've been suffering from Baby-Attached-To-Leg Syndrome this week.

It sucks the life force right out of you and it also adds about 15 minutes to any given task you are trying to accomplish.  Another side effect is a horrible feeling that someone is always watching you.  And sometimes loud screaming accompanies it.

I was at my wits end at the store today.  Maybe it was the constant yelling, "Don't touch!!  That's glass!" to Piper.  Or the fact that I lost her twice in the clothes racks which results in me shouting, "Piper?!!  Piper?!!  Piper come out right now!!!"  Or the fact that she has to use the bathroom as much as a old man!  The second time she she asked to go of course I was the furthest possible point from the bathroom with a cart full...I nearly started crying.  I know...I'm not sure what came over me.  All I wanted to do was finish picking out a frame that I needed.  I didn't want to take anyone to the bathroom AGAIN!  

And that's how I've been feeling all week.  Tired and on the verge of tears.  Weak?  Yep, pretty much...and I'm okay with that.  

Just a side note:  As I was driving around this morning the one thing that I knew would make me feel better was a cup a coffee.  It would make my headache go away and it would perk me up.  It would help me feel alive again after this weeks lack of sleep.  It took ALL my will power not to pull into the Starbucks and grab a cup.  And even now as the weather took a turn (snow today) all I want is to sit here with a nice warm cup of coffee.  It will make any pain go away.

Sheesh, I sound like a druggie or something.

Anyway, Ryan comes home this evening...thank goodness.  I'll try not to tackle him and grab him by the shirt and say something like, "Please!!  Please!!  Don't ever leave me again!!!"

Happy Weekend ya'll.

The end of a love affair.

This here is one of my favorite mugs.  You can probably tell since it looks a bit banged up.  Just wanted to share that it's been about 3 1/2 weeks since that whole no coffee thing.  Sometimes when I open my pantry to get something I see my coffee maker sitting in there...looking very alone...I feel a bit sad.  This has been like a end of a relationship...a love affair.  I know, it's silly...but it's true.  You may be thinking, "Why don't you just get rid of the coffee maker?"  I say, "No way!"  First off, I spent a pretty penny for that coffee maker...it's a darn good coffee maker!!  Secondly, we have friends and family who drink it and it would be nice to be able to offer it to them when they stay here.

So anyway, after the first week of quitting was over I actually started feeling pretty good.  And now, I really don't miss the caffeine at all...but I STILL miss the ritual.

Confession: Today I opened the the bag of coffee grounds that we still have in the cupboard and inhaled...very deeply in fact.  It smelled so good.

Hello, my name is Kelly...I'm LDS and addicted to coffee.

This is my coffee pot in all it's glory...isn't it beautiful?  I love coffee.  I love everything about it...coming down the stairs in the morning and smelling it brew, pouring it, holding my mug (especially on a cold morning) in both hands, sipping it slowly all morning long...I'm not a weirdo, ask any coffee drinker and they will agree with me!  Not only do coffee drinkers love the taste and caffeine fix we LOVE the ritual of our morning coffee.

Now I realize that coffee drinking and being LDS don't mix.  But I figured if Joe Shmoe from the church can drink his Diet Coke or someone else can drink their Red Bull...I can have my morning coffee!  But comparing myself to others is never a good thing.  It's not about them...this is about me!  The church disapproves any addiction...no matter what it is.  But I'm not here to do any preaching!  After some reading and soul searching I decided to kick the habit...because in all honesty (as much as I hate to say it) my body was relying on that cup of coffee to get through the day.  I know this because I nearly died on the first day without it!  Seriously...I had a splitting headache all day, and I felt as though I would collapse at any moment from the sleepies!  It was awful!

It's been over a week and I do feel better, but I miss it.  I'm in mourning for it.  I've started drinking milk, juice or even water in my beloved mug just to try to mimic that same sensation of sipping coffee.

I can't say that I'll NEVER drink it again.  I may one day enjoy a cup in a social gathering...or Christmas morning??  But, I know that I don't want to rely on coffee every single day to help me function...I want to be free of any addiction.  And I feel good about that!

So...I'll continue to sip my milk, juice or water from my mug and be sure to hold it with two hands...just like the old days.