Here I go again...

As cold and flu season rapidly approaches, I'm so glad that I have Parents magazine to give me advice on how to "Germ-Proof My Child". Let's see how I'm doing...shall we.

1. "Have your child wash hands before meals, after using the bathroom, or whenever she touches other kids, pets, or communal toys." OK, I do pretty good at this one...most of time.

2. "Always keep baby wipes or a sanitizing gel in your diaper bag, your purse, and the car." Still doing good with the "rules"...I'm still with you Parents magazine! Although I think I only have the gel in the car, but I do carry around wipes in my purse.

3. "Teach your child to sneeze or cough into a tissue. If he doesn't have one handy, he should use the crook of his elbow." Well, I was doing good... Right now I'm just trying to get my kids to stop picking their nose and eating their boogers (I know, gross). But, maybe when they can master that, they'll be ready to get a tissue every time they need to sneeze or cough. But at the pace we're going they'll probably be teenagers before they accomplish that one!

4. "Clean toys weekly with hot soapy water or a sanitizing spray." HA!! What mother has time for this?!! Okay, the spray may not be too bad to accomplish. But trying to remember that on a weekly basis on top of all the other things that need to get done...yeah, right! I'm already feeling guilty because I never ever remember to give the kids their fluoride pills, or giving myself time to look for that stupid Winnie the Pooh DVD that was due back at the library forever ago (it's in the house somewhere). Note to self: Find out how many times you can renew something at the library before they get suspicious. I could go on and on with all the things I have to do in a week, yet still forget to do them...cleaning toys are at the bottom of the list!!

5. "If a bottle, sippy cup, or pacifier falls on the floor, always wash it before giving back to your child." HA, HA, HA!! I maybe followed this rule the first month of being a mother. However, it's just not realistic! Confession: When at a store (such as Costco), and Morgan should drop one of her crackers she's eating as a snack, she goes crazy! She wants it back sooooo bad. So I pick it up and say "Oh, no! It got all dirty you can't have it." Yes, I'm faking it for all the "good mothers" around me. Because I admit, once a turn onto the next isle I give it back to her. I don't want to hear her scream the whole shopping trip!! And yes, Haley has been known to eat the Jelly Belly samples (from Costco) off the floor when she dropped her the little cup they came in. And yes, I look the other way and pretend I didn't see it happen. Confession over!

6. "Steer clear of toys and books in the waiting room at the doctor's office, which are loaded with germs. Take your own instead." Please, no kid wants to play with toys from their house when there is an array of "new" toys layed out in front of them. Give me a break!! And yes, I've tried it...it never works!! They throw what ever you gave them aside and go play with the kids.

7. "Don't share personal objects with your child-including utensils, toothbrushes, cups, washcloths, towels, and combs-and don't let siblings share them either." Do these magazine people know what it's like in a house with children?!! We have sippy cups everywhere in this house! I can never remember who's is who's, they're always just grabbing a sip in what ever one is laying in front of them. Gross? Maybe, but that's how it is! And Morgan is always swiping Haley's toothbrush. And don't share combs?! I understand toothbrushes (I'll do better with that one), but COMBS?!! Whatever... stupid magazine!

I'll just make sure everyone gets their flu shot this year. Thanks for nothing, Parents Magazine!