...but baby number 4 is on the way.
*Yes, I'm aware that Piper is not even one yet.
*And that I just stopped nursing two days ago. I was supposed to feel liberated...free as a bird...have my body back. (I guess that will take a backseat)
*I'm also aware that Ryan just quit his job (steady paycheck) to become self employed (which will be hard now...but much better in the long run).
*I'm also aware that we are losing our benefits starting in May, and we'll have to start paying for our own plan.
*And pretty much every health insurance plan comes with a separate maternity deductible of $7500...which basically means we pay for the entire pregnancy and birth. Can we say home birth?! Yes, please! Okay, not really...but that would save us some serious cashola!
*Money is very tight right now.
*I'm also aware that we don't have a vehicle big enough for a family of six at this point.
Yes, I'm scared...timing is really bad. Can you tell this was an "oops" pregnancy? Learn from me: take your pill everyday and don't use breastfeeding as a form of contraceptive.
But once I got over the initial shock of it all...I realized how much I love this little baby already. How protective I am of my body. I'm already a nervous wreck! Is it secure in there...did it latch on good? Did it find a good spot in there? Do you have enough nutrients? Do you know how much I love you?
I've been feeling a little on the funky side this past week (a bit of bleeding here and there...this has happened for every pregnancy I've had, but still scares me every time). I just hope and pray that it will be a healthy pregnancy.
So although bad timing...I do want this baby...so very much! We'll figure everything else out...we always do.
3 comments:
Oh Kelly, congrats! You are an amazing mom and you can totally handle another little one. Hope you are feeling okay and that you get a minute or two (ha!) to yourself!
WOW! While you are going to have your hands full you are going to be awesome! I know how you feel. I was not ready to get pregnant yet when I did with Gannon. It took me a minute or two to wrap my head around it. I think it is so wonderful though!! Congratulations! I just had my tubes tied with Gannon and it is definatly bittersweet!!! This lil one was definatly meant to be. Hey maybe a boy.....??
Holy cow, Kelly. Such great news! I can completely understand where your stress would come from. You have a beautiful perspective, and I'm excited to hear how things work out!
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