Happy Birthday to Me!

Actually my Birthday was yesterday. It turned out to be very beautiful! The weather was very pleasant, low fifties...oh, glorious Spring, you're right around the corner...I can't wait!! I had all these plans to take the girls out to a park or something in the afternoon, but they were playing so nicely in the front yard all afternoon I decided to just chill at home. It was a very relaxing day! I made some BBQ chicken pizza for dinner and Ryan brought home a cake for me. Pizza, Cake, Olympics on TV...perfect evening at home!

To continue the festivities we decided to spend the day in Salt Lake. We went to breakfast (my favorite meal to go out for) at the Park Cafe. This has now become my new favorite breakfast spot!! It's a cute little place right beside Liberty Park. After we gorged ourselves (seriously...watch out when I'm pregnant...I can really put it away) we took a stroll through Liberty Park. Okay...best park ever!! How is it that we've never gone to these two places after living here for 6 years?!

This next picture of Ryan and I was taken by Haley...can you believe it?! What a great picture! And she wasn't even trying. She held up the camera for literally 3 seconds and snapped the shot and I think she was looking the other way the whole time. Crazy.

After Liberty Park we took the girls to the Discovery Gateway, a children's science museum. Very fun, the girls loved it! On the way home, Morgan was asleep by the time we left the parking garage...Haley was shortly after. I'm not suprised, they were on the go all day!

I really needed a day like this...it was perfect!

Now...leftover pizza, more cake and then some Olympics! Happy Birthday to Me!!

Walk Down Memory Lane

In my last post I did a lot complaining about things that still need to get done before our little one arrives. Don't get me wrong...yes, I'm a bit overwhelmed...but we are thrilled to pieces to meet this little baby girl! She is constantly moving around, contorting my belly every which way. Morgan and I were waiting to see my doctor the other week. To past the time Morgan put her little toy sheep on my belly, it didn't take long for it to wiggle around and the sheep would fly off. Pure entertainment for a three year old!

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared about having baby number three. When I was pregnant with the first I had no idea what I was getting myself into, so I went through that pregnancy completely oblivious, but excited none the less. With number two, I was still in baby mode, Haley had just turned one when I got pregnant. I think the only thing we had to pull out of storage was the infant carrier...other than that, we were ready to go! Now with number three, I've had a little break...life got a little more comfortable. No cribs, no highchairs, no diapers, no baby food, little spoons, bibs, burp clothes, diaper bags, napping schedules, baby toys, swings, play pens, and there was no more cleaning up the Tupperware cabinet, towel drawer, and bookshelves 100 times a day from a little terror on all fours! So yes, a little scary to step out of my comfort zone and start over. But really, that's all pettily compared to the joys another baby will bring to this house! I really can't wait! I can't wait to cuddle with a new baby. I can't wait to pull out the little jammies with footies on them to put on her...all cozy! I can't wait to see Morgan as a big sister. And I just love the fact that our family is growing!

There's nothing like taking a walk down memory lane to get me excited for our new addition!

Haley about a week old.

Haley about 5 months old. Yes, she is taking a bath

in a dish pan.

Haley loved to sit on her Leapfrog and read

her books.

Morgan about a week old.

Morgan four months old.

The girls were playing in a huge box, it

entertained them forever!

They loved their little pool!

So bring it on!! I may not have a crib set up or baby clothes neatly folded in drawers...but I'm excited for this new adventure!!

Time for a post.

Wow, I can't believe it's been nearly a week since my last post! Where has all the time gone?

I survived the weekend...Ryan was in Minnesota Friday through Sunday. When Ryan is away, it's nice that my brother is here. It keeps me from completely schlumping it everyday...I'm proud to say that we did not have cereal for dinner once while Ryan was gone! Jeff works on the weekends so I know he appreciates a good meal for dinner when he comes home. Although, he probably wouldn't care if dinner was cereal...he could live off that stuff!


Not sure if anyone notices the pregnancy ticker on my blog...well, time is just ticking away on it. There is soooo much I want to get done before this baby comes. Cleaning, painting, organizing...more cleaning. I need to dig up the bins with all the old baby clothes and start doing inventory on what I have. I have to figure out a place to put those clothes. I have to hunt down my old crib...that's probably pretty important to have. Not sure where any of this will go...I have to figure that out too. Also, a name for this kid would be good. So anyway, yeah...lots to do. Maybe I'll get started some day.


I also have to figure out where I'm even delivering this baby...that's probably pretty important too! My doctor, and several other doctors that I checked into, will not perform a V-back (a vaginal delivery after a C-Section) at my hospital. The hospital requires that my doctor be there for the entire labor, which could be hours...and no doctor will do that. So, I'm left with the option of going to another hospital and paying more (my insurance won't cover the same) or scheduling a C-Section at my hospital and paying much less. Having had both, a vaginal delivery and a C-Section, recovery is a lot easier with a vaginal delivery. And the fact that I have two other kids to run after...yeah, I do NOT want a C-Section! I realize that I really don't have any control over the matter, bottom line, the baby has final say. But she better be not be BREECH!! She's already head down...she better stay that way! So anyway, we'll see.

Well, this post is going no where...just a lot rambling. Best get on with the day!

Moment of Weakness

I had a moment of weakness yesterday.

The girls completed their sticker charts, which is not that easy. They need 30 stickers to fill the chart, and I'm pretty picky on how they earn them. However, I was very impressed (especially with Haley) on how motivated they were and how hard they worked to earn them. So anyway, after lunch it was off to the store to let each of them pick out their prize.

Before going into the store I told them that the prize they picked out had to be $10 or under! So they're both going up and down the isles examining each toy. Haley found a HUGE horse that pulled a little sleigh, "Is this $10?!!!". "Uh...no, Haley...that says $100...try again." Finally they come racing to me, each of them holding a package with a plastic horse inside. "Is this $10?!!!!" I look at the price...$12.99. Well...I guess I could go over $10 just a little I thought. Then I looked closer at the horse and realized that it was the horse that goes with a Rainbow Brite doll. I perked up...Rainbow Brite!!! I had a Rainbow Brite when I was a kid!!! I loved Rainbow Brite!!! So, immediately I start scanning the shelves for the matching doll! I find it! The girls go crazy! "Oh, mom!! Can we get these...PLEASE!!!! They are soooooooo beautiful!!!!". I look at the price of the doll...$12.99. Both Haley and Morgan now each have a horse and a doll tucked under each arm...pure excitement on their faces. I stood there for several minutes debating on what to do. Hmmmm, that's $26 each...over $50 total...what about my $10 rule? But then, I can't just get the horse without it's matching rider!! Plus, I had one too as a child...I started to get a bit nostalgic standing there.

I caved. I told them they better love these toys forever because they were waaaaay over the budget I set. As we're standing in line to make the purchase, Haley kept kissing my belly, "Thank you soooo much mommy, I love my new toys...I just LOVE them!!!". And do they ever! They played with them all afternoon!

When Ryan came home they ran to him showing him their prizes, "Look Daddy, Look at what we won!!!". As Ryan is looking them over saying how proud he is of them, Morgan says, "Yeah daddy, and they were really really expensive!".

Thanks Morgan.

Well, Ryan should consider himself lucky. On the way out of the store I saw a Peaches and Cream Barbie from 1985...the exact same one that I had as a child!! It was $50. Tempting.

Rainy Day at Home

Yesterday, being a Holiday and all, Haley had off of school. However, Ryan did not...bummer. All for the best I guess, it turned out to be a very wet, rainy day. But anyway, I was reading my sister-in-law's blog and she was saying how her and her two boys were having PJ day at their house. It was about 11:00 when I was reading it...I looked down...yep, I was still in my jammies. I looked over at my girls playing...yep, they were still in their jammies. So I officially named yesterday as a jammie day! Gotta say...it was pretty nice and cozy! And for some reason I felt less guilty doing it knowing that across the country in Boston my sister-in-law was doing the exact same thing!!

In the afternoon I finally got them started their own scrapbooks, something I've been wanting to do forever!

I think they turned out pretty well!

Some of Morgan's pages. I helped her a little with the cutting.

Haley's work.

Valentine's and the end of Swim Sesson

I'm trying my best to snap out of this funk I've been lately. I hate when I get down and out. But now today is Monday, the start of a new week...and I'm determined to make it a good one!



Last night for Valentine's I served up some beef tenderloin steaks with a mustard cream sauce...and thank goodness, they turned out perfect...if I do say so myself. I always get a little nervous when cooking steak, they aren't cheap, and this is the one time of year I buy them...so it's kinda important they turn out. Plus, I have two men in this house who are REALLY looking forward to them, I certainly don't want to let them down! And for dessert I made baby lava cakes...oh my...can we say a chocolate heaven!! I made this meal last year, so I think it has now become our traditional Valentine dinner. And Ryan bought me a beautiful bouquet of pink roses that complimented the table perfectly!

In other news, last Thursday was the last day for the girls swim lesson session. Haley did very well, she got the okay to move up to Level 2. During one her lessons I almost made a spectacle of myself. The teacher sometimes moves the class to another part of the pool, and I'm not sure how well they can touch the bottom there because the kids keep close to the wall while they wait their turn. At one point Haley pushed herself away from the wall and immediately went under. I was up in the balcony watching...I jump out of my seat and nearly hurdle all the benches to the railing to scream for someone to save my daughter. At the same time I'm about to scream, Haley pops back up and somehow manages to grab the wall...safe. My heart was pounding! It was when I turned around to sit back down that I saw all the stares from the other mothers. I'm sure they thought I was crazy.

Morgan on the other hand had some troubles. She was asked to repeat her level because she isn't able to put her head under the water yet. She HATES it!! Sound familiar? Yes, Haley had the same problem...she has since recovered from her traumatic experience and now LOVES going under the water. So, I know in time Morgan will come around.

I was going to enroll them immediately in the next session, but now I think I'll wait. We'll work on Morgan going underwater first. When she can do that I'll put her in the next level. But I tell ya, she was a trooper! Even though she was so so scared, she still got in the water and did her best! And she was always the first one to volunteer to go first!

Morgan, not happy...but trying.
Haley working on the back float.

Struggling

This week has not been a good one...it started out good...but it has slowly spiraled out of control.

This is one of those blog posts that I'm not sure how to write. So many things racing through my mind. Last night during Morgan's one hour melt down all I wanted to do was get in the car and drive...not sure where...but far from here. Yesterday I had a lot of moments of just not wanting to be a mom. I hate that feeling.

Haley got up this morning at 5:30. Ryan was the one who got up to try to get her to lay back down. I don't like when Ryan pops up before me. Then I lay there feeling guilty...I'm the mom...I'm supposed to get up with the kids. He doesn't care though...he doesn't look at it that way...he just wants to help...why do I feel so guilty. I have a fabulous husband who wants to help me!! It didn't work though...she still got up.

I enjoy the few minutes with Ryan before he leaves for work...with no children around us. I feel so jipped when Haley is up with us. I don't want to talk about ponies, unicorns, or what her stuffed cat Lucky is up to. I just want to be with Ryan for a few minutes alone! I want to tell him I'm struggling, I want to tell him to stay with me...don't leave me today...I'm hurting. Not that I actually would say those things. He has his own things to worry about at work. And it's not like he doesn't know that I'm struggling. I'm not one for being discreet about the way I feel in front of my family. If I'm upset, everyone knows it.

I know moms are entitled to bad days...we all have them. And if someone says they don't...well... I don't really want to know you...you are too perfect.

Love/Hate

These two have been driving me INSANE!!!!

This is a picture of them trying to sneak into the living room. I don't like them in the room when the girls are playing with their toys. You can see they are very upset about it...they start to do a type of GI crawl, inching their way closer and closer.

They have been spending more time in the house because the backyard is such a mess. We've had such a wet January with warmer temps that our yard has turned into a muddy swamp. I really really hope that our grass comes back!! So the dogs are either in the dog run out back or in the house. But of course they have to do their business outside, so every time they come back in I've got to clean their paws...which results in me bending over them giving me the most terrible heartburn/indigestion feeling from the 20 lb turkey in my belly! I've been popping tums like you wouldn't believe!! Also, I've been spending a lot of time on my hands and knees cleaning up the floor from their muddy paws. But actually, being on my hands and knees is quite comfortable for me...letting my belly hang is kinda nice. It's like when you're 9 months pregnant and you're cleaning behind the toilet on your hands and knees and realize that letting your belly hang the pressure on your pelvic bone goes completely away and then you think, "I wonder if I can stay here (on your hands and knees beside the toilet) until I give birth"...yeah, it's kinda like that.

Anyway, back to the dogs...did I mention they are driving me crazy!! Etta settles down much faster than Belle. Maybe it's because of her gimpy leg. But Belle...oh my sweet Belle...how annoying you can be. Jeff describes her as a fly...which is a pretty good comparison. I'm sure she's got a lot of stored up energy since she doesn't get out very much...Ryan will take her out jogging every other day or so. But I guess it's just not enough for her. I think they are due for a trip to the dog park tomorrow!

The Last Decade

I have a friend that shared her experiences from the last decade on her blog a while back, I loved it!

I love to reminisce and look at old photo albums...it's so much fun. So, since seeing her post I've been wanting to do the same thing. But let me tell ya...it's a lot of work! I had to go through a lot of albums and scan photos into the computer. But once I started I couldn't go back...I was on a mission to finish!! So this has been a while in the making...hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

In 2000 Ryan and I had already been married a year, living in Indianapolis going to school. We graduated together in the Spring from Marian College (now Marian University)...my degree in Elementary Education and Ryan's in English.

Post graduation road trip to Jackson, Mississippi for a bike race Ryan was in.

And then it was off to Long Beach to live. We literally crammed everything we owned in our little VW Jetta to make the drive from Indiana to CA. I guess it helps to have an old hand-me-down bed, thrift store chairs, a couch we found on the side of the road and cardboard boxes for side tables...it makes getting rid of things so much easier. We took our time driving hitting up a few stops such as the Grand Canyon.

We found a little apartment in Long Beach to live, I started teaching 5th grade and Ryan raced his bike full time along with working for Injury Free Coalition part time.

2001 was the year of weddings. Ryan's sister got married.

And my brother got married.

Ryan and I did a lot of traveling around before we had kids. Jackson, Mississippi, Bend, Oregon, San Francisco (several times), Downers Grove, Illinois (any cyclist will know that all those places host major bike races) So yes, most of our traveling centered around a bike race. But we also got to go back East to Richmond, Williamsburg, DC and Boston. Not all in the same year of course.

In 2002 Ryan and I went on a camping trip through the Eastern Sierras. We stopped in June Lake, Bodie, and Big Pine. During this trip is when I started having a fear of bears...I layed awake every night listening to other campers banging on pots and pans scaring the bears away. I thought for sure a bear would rip through our tent and kill us. That or we would wake up and find our Jeep top ripped to shreds because a bear had gone through it. Luckily, neither happened.

We also visited our old stomping grounds...Indianapolis.

In 2003 we camped in Yosemite for a week. My brother Andrew joined us. I know...more bear country.

Hiking half dome...absolutely amazing!

Also in 2003 we decided to make the move to Utah. We had been married four years and we were ready to buy a home and start a family. This time we still packed up our little Jetta...along with a U-Haul, my parents pick-up, and our Jeep. Yes, we had four vehicles making the drive. Ryan led the way in the U-Haul, me in the Jeep, my parents in their pick-up and my brother Andrew in our Jetta. It was a two day trip.

But so worth it! Our first home! We didn't have jobs or much of a plan, but we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best!

We moved in November (I was teaching year round and that was one of my off months). I went back to Long Beach in December to finish out the semester while Ryan stayed in Utah looking for work. Luckily, he found a job doing the exact same thing he did in Long Beach...working for Injury Free Coalition. Yay! When I met back up with him in Utah, I started subbing.

Late 2003 I found out I was pregnant. My sister-in-law and I were expecting our first baby at the same time. I'm sure she'll be glad I posted this picture!

In 2004 our little Haley girl was born!

And although that year we were still able to travel a bit...a lot of trips to CA, Sedona and some camping...I was basically learning the whole mom thing.

In 2005 I got pregnant again.

In 2006 our little Morgan Muffin was born!

Wow...what a year that was! The transition to two kids was very difficult for me! I was basically a frazzled mother the entire year!

Also that year Ryan started a new job working for Reynolds.

We did some camping that year and next. We started a tradition to go Spring camping at Snow Canyon in St. George. And in 2007 we camped in Zion. However, that trip was a bit of mess...Ryan and both got sick the second day so we went home early. We'll have to try again.

Here we are before we got sick on the Narrows hike in Zion.

In 2008 we had to say goodbye to our beloved Coonhound, Cassidy. She was 14 years old...I got her for my 16th birthday.

That year we welcomed Etta, our very spastic Brittany, to our family.

And I was enjoying life not being pregnant and not nursing for the first time since 2003!! What a liberating year that was for me to have my body back! I was able to do more bike riding, and I even did a cyclocross race...my first ever!

In 2009 we had another addition the family...another spastic Brittany (what was I thinking). Belle joined us.

Also that year, Haley started Kindergarten!

And I got pregnant again! Baby girl number three is on the way!

Which leaves us to now...2010.

Wow, that was fun! So many memories!! What a great decade that was!

Super Bowl

So as you know yesterday was the Super Bowl. I'm not a big football fan, in fact, it wasn't until about two days before the game I even knew who was playing. But any excuse to eat junk food I'm up for it!! Plus, it made for a very relaxing afternoon/evening.

I included a picture of Jeffy and the girls watching the game. Jeff was just lying there by himself and the girls kept inching closer and closer to him, until finally he was swarmed. Jeff doesn't look at all uncomfortable...ha ha.

We've been having such nice weather lately, it's making me get excited for Spring! The other day it must have in the low 50's!! Ryan even took the girls out for a ride in the trailer...and I of course LOVED having the empty house for a couple of hours!

I hope we're going to have an early Spring...Please!

My little bun in the oven.

I had my follow-up ultrasound this morning and I'm happy to report that we are having a healthy baby girl!! No trace of the cysts were found and everything looks great! What a relief!! I'm just so happy!!

As soon as the tech/nurse started to look at what I thought was the brain, I asked her how it looked, I just couldn't wait any longer! She was like, "Oh, this isn't the brain...it's your cervix." My CERVIX...lady, look at the baby's brain!! I need to know NOW! Okay, I wasn't like that...I was patient. But I don't think I would make a good ultrasound tech. Brain...Cervix...it all looks the same to me. So eventually she got to the brain, and sure enough the cysts absorbed away. That didn't stop me from asking more than once, "Are you sure?". I guess I won't be completely at peace until I'm holding her in my arms.

And let me just add that Morgan did a fantastic job during all this...so patient. I was so excited about the good news that Morgan and I went out for treats and then to the play area at the mall. The whole time I was sporting a huge grin from ear to ear!

Finally...

...I think I'm getting it. I think I'm finally finding a routine that works! I've been really trying hard to keep to the incentive charts I created for the girls and stick to some kind of structure in the afternoon. Not that every day is wonderful...I wish I could say that!! Of course there are still those days that nothing gets done, routine/structure is hopeless, and I'm basically running around like a crazy lady pulling out my hair. But, I'm trying...call it my New Year's Resolution: Keeping to a Schedule! (yes, I know it's February, but better late than never!).

Funny because I'm finally finding some type of routine, just to have a baby in a couple of months, which will basically turn my world upside down. And then what? Another 3-5 years to find a routine that works?! It never ends!

Speaking of babies...I had my 30 week check-up this morning. I know, 30 WEEKS!! I even asked the doctor again, "What? How many weeks am I? Did you say 30?!". Terrible I know, I should be keeping better track of this pregnancy! I have to say, when he said 30 weeks, all I could think of was "I'm not ready!!!". Oh my...this baby is going to rock our world!

I have my follow-up ultrasound tomorrow morning to check the status of the cysts that were found in the baby's brain at 20 weeks. The doctor assures me that everything will be fine, but I can't relax until I know for sure. So of course I'm extremely nervous for tomorrow, but anxious as well.

Send good thoughts!

On my mind...

It's been a little while since I blogged last. Actually there's been a bit on my mind, but I just haven't been able to really sit down and put it into words. But after years of journaling I know I always feel better having gotten it all out.

It's amazing how as has my children grow it just doesn't get any easier. The things that used to be challenging: sleep routines, potty training, nursing schedules, crying, crying, and crying (you and child) so on and so on...those things are no longer problems but instead you get a whole new set of things to deal with. School issues, being one that I'm struggling with at the moment. My heart still aches every time Haley gets on the bus for school every morning...I'm not sure if that will ever go away. But any time I'm away from my children a little piece of me is missing. I know that sounds corny and slightly gaggy, but it's true! I know I have to let go and let her learn things on her own...easier said than done.

Does her teacher love my child the way I do? Does she accept all of Haley's little quirky behaviors? Does she appreciate her wonderful imagination? How she has such a gift at story telling? Her love for the outdoors? How she has the ability to entertain herself, and doesn't have to rely on others? How fragile and sensitive she can be?

And can she accept her stubborn, and independent ways that I know can be challenging at times. Does her teacher know how to adapt her classroom management routines to meet the needs of every child. I work hard at home to maintain control and create incentives that work for my children to make the day go smoother...does her teacher? Will her teachers work with me, and not against me? Will they take (what I think are blessings) her imagination, and adventurous spirit and call them her faults? So many things run through my mind. Haley is such a wonderful little girl! Full of life and curiosity...I just don't want her precious little spirit to be hurt...especially by a teacher. She loves going to school everyday, I want it to stay that way as long as possible!

This is just the beginning, her first year. A teacher can either make or break a child's year. I'm realizing now, more than ever, how important a teacher's role is in a child's life.