Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Motherhood

Some women say the most perfect things. They always have the perfect thing to say to those tricky questions our kids ask. Or when a friend is going through a hard time...they know the comforting words that make it all better. They can send the most thoughtful "Thank You" card, or say uplifting and motivating things to a recent grad. Newly married? They know the right way to give advice without sounding like a "know it all".

I want to be that person. I never know the right things to say in any situation. My kids ask something tricky, or maybe they're sad about something...I'm always stumbling over my words. I think they walk away more confused. When someone is spilling there guts, hurting over something...I'll just stare back, trying as hard as I can to say something comforting, or helpful...but nothing comes. I'm just not good at saying the perfect things. It's a gift that some people have.

Anyway, I enjoy following this blog. And today I absolutely loved her post! So much in fact that I had to post it on mine to share. So...as much as I wish these were my words...they are not. But I think she captured motherhood perfectly! When I'm having a bad day, I'll go back and read this to remind myself what a blessing motherhood is! I am so lucky!

I love to watch mothers interact with their children. Different discipline styles and displays of motherly-affection intrigue me. I watch for what works and what doesn’t work. I am a mother-of-three who still is trying to learn to be a mom. You see, these children of mine, they change so quickly. A strategy that worked one month will fail the next. They are smart and changing; I have to be on my toes. I have a feeling that as soon as I figure motherhood out, they will be out of the house. Is that how it goes, experienced mothers? Will I always feel like I don’t know what I am doing?

I have learned a few things about motherhood, though. Here is my very unsolicited advice:

::Sleep is a valuable commodity. Teach your children to sleep. Put them to bed early. Encourage naps. Catch some zzz’s yourself, whenever you can.

::Stop worrying over little things. Kids spill. Kids are loud. Kids are rambunctious. Kids don’t sit still. Let them play. They will grow up too quickly, so enjoy these moments while you can.

::No matter how hard you try, your clothes will not be clean. Your shoulder will never look the same. Avoid black shirts when you have a bouncing, burping baby.

::Take time for yourself. It will make you a better mom if you can step away, even for a moment.

::Get dirty. Play with the playdough/mud/fingerpaints with your children. I promise you’ll see a twinkle in their eye when you do.

::Babies will completely change your body. (I hear that even adopted mothers experience a little body-changing.) Perhaps it is all the goldfish and fruit snacks we consume ourselves. Or maybe it is that you will no longer have the time you once did to think about yourself. Who knows.

::Your children will break something you love. They will. Be prepared. Leave the room and recover before blowing up.

::After a hectic day with a child, sneak a peek at him sleeping. It will soften your heart and remind you of how much you adore that little rascal.

::Don’t forget your spouse. Nurture that relationship. Continue to date. Dress up for your outings like you used to. Wear his favorite perfume. Motherhood shouldn’t make you forget your love.

::Motherhood will change you. These little people will change your dreams. (I dreamed of being a successful business woman in a fast-moving city. Motherhood has made me wish for a slower, quieter life at home.) You will have a newer and better purpose in life.

::Motherhood is a joy. Enjoy the little, everyday things. The chubby fingers. The late night feedings. The darling giggles and trusting eyes. Motherhood is a blessing. There is no greater calling and no love comparable.

2 comments: