So Many Things

There is so much on my mind...things I've been meaning to write about...wanting to write about. After all, this is my journal and I want to make sure I document things I'm going through, feelings and such.

* My transition into my new home. A friend asked me the other day how I'm liking my new house. Well, of course I LOVE my new home...LOVE it!! But like any move into a new area, it takes time to adjust. Truth is...which I told her...I miss my old hood. I miss the young families, I miss seeing the kids running all around up and down the street. I miss seeing my girls playing with the neighbor kids in the front yard. It's true. I haven't been to church yet here. I probably should, it's an easy way to get to know people fast. But to be honest, I'm nervous...childish I know. My shy personality comes out. I'm the new girl. Maybe this Sunday. So anyway, it's only been a couple of months being here...I should give myself a break. Fact is, this area is awesome, I'm glad I'm here...everything will fall into place soon enough.

* Piper. Oh my little Piper. She's been a fussy one lately. Actually, she's fussy with EVERYONE but me. If I'm holding her, she's a dream. But with anyone else and her little world falls apart. This means I can't leave her side...ever...we are connected at the hip. I already feel a bit tied down since I nurse, but now, because she has trouble being with anyone else (Ryan included) I feel like I never get a break. Cooking dinner is usually done with her screaming the entire time, because *gasp* I have to set her down! I know, the horror. Excuse me for having to stir a pot or chop some veggies. I've thought about putting her in the backpack several times, weird as that may be...at least I'll have my hands free and perhaps she won't be screaming...maybe. So naturally, I'm pulling my hair out the minute Ryan walks in the door.

* Ding Dong...the fence is done! Yes, my dad is the hero! He spent pretty much everyday working on that thing. Boy, am I grateful...and I'm sure the dogs are too! Pictures to come.

* I had my first colonoscopy last week. Yeah, that's a story. Anything that revolves around a hospital will usually follow with a good story. First off the reason I did it: I have direct family history of colon cancer, and with my cousin's husband's passing from cancer, and hearing about people whos passed away from colon cancer in their forties (no I'm not in my forties yet...sheesh) I was scared. I wanted to have a piece of mind. So yeah, a colonoscopy. I'll try to make this short. First off, not eating for one entire day is complete torture!! Especially when everyone around me was eating. Then, to have to clean out my system...more torture. And I learned that nursing and cleaning out the bowels should not take place at the same time. I didn't realize how many calories my body uses to produce milk. So, without eating all day and then having diarrhea all night (yes, I said it...diarrhea) it made me extremely weak, to the point of passing out and feeling very sick to my stomach. Just not cool. So anyway, a terrible night, terrible morning...I finally get the hospital (my mom took me, and of course Piper tagged along, see above paragraph). Then they have the nerve to tell me that I was a little late and they may not be able to do the procedure! WHAT?!! I did not just go through all that for NOTHING!! I started to panic, and was about to get on my knees and beg for them to see me. I know, totally weird...beg for them to give a colonoscopy...some may see that as an out, an excuse to postpone. But no, not me...there is no way I was going through that prep again!! Luckily, I didn't have to get on my knees and they took me. But, it was very rushed, so rushed I wasn't able to nurse Piper beforehand. It was literally within minutes they had the IV in and I was whisked away. All I remember is laying there by the doctor and seeing the long probe thingy behind him...I started freaking out inside. I told him I was very scared. He said, "Don't worry, we have something for that." Then he gave me an injection and told me to roll on my side, *poof* I was out.

I woke up in a fog with my mom sitting in the room. And that was that. Oh, and if you ever get a colonoscopy don't drink two big cups of grape juice right after. You may throw it up. I learned that the hard way.

Oh, and everything is okay. Another ten years and I get to do the whole thing over again. Hopefully I won't be nursing then.