Monday, March 13, 2017

ACL recovery.

I've been pretty much MIA since my surgery on the 22nd of February, but today I've decided it's high time for a little update.  And it's a bit easier now to get myself situated at the desk to do a proper blog post...pictures and all.

I won't lie...it's been pretty miserable these past (almost) three weeks post op.  I've never gone through a surgery before (other than a C-section) and this whole recovery thing is the absolute pits, and I'm afraid I'm pretty much terrible at it...as far as my mood is concerned anyway.  I'm irritable and to be honest, depressed.  It's just plain hard not to be able to do the things I'm used to doing and relying on others as much as I am.  I'm just super frustrated with a leg that's absolutely useless to me right now...yes, yes, I know it's not forever, but still.

 Ryan went with me on surgery day...and I was pretty much terrified.
This is right before they wheeled me away and my fate was in the doctor's hands.

 Is this picture not the most pathetic picture ever? 
 This is me right after surgery...yes, I'm surprised I'm posting it too, but this is reality folks.  I felt exactly the way I look...miserable.

 I perked up a little before heading home.

Little did I know I had a whole new set of challenges to face very soon...like getting from the car into my house in which case I kept fainting and finally Ryan had to scoop me up and carry me in.  
Sounds romantic, huh?  
Not really, try to imagine being carried with a leg that is locked straight in a brace and probably weighs 20 pounds.  My mom on one side of Ryan gently holding my leg up while I'm trying not to faint and be complete dead weight...and then trying to get through a door way...yeah, I'm sure the three of us were a sight to behold!  But I'll just go ahead and picture a very romantic scene.  I'm just super thankful I'm little and Ryan could carry me...although at the time I would have been completely happy if they let me just lay down on the driveway for the rest of the day.

 So this was my life for the first several days.
Couch, ice pack, and brace...I pretty much only got up to go to the bathroom.
I even slept on the couch for the first two nights as the stairs to my room completely freaked me out.

 I didn't shower for two weeks...I resorted to mini "bird baths" and my mom would wash my hair in the kitchen sink.  Seriously, my mom was our saving grace...she did all the cleaning, laundry, cooking, and carting my kids all  over the place...we could not have survived without her!!

 And in the middle of all this, I had a birthday!!
It happened to land on the night of the Academy Awards, so my friend and my mom created a little impromptu party...it was lovely and definitely perked up my spirits!

 And then the following day my mom threw another little birthday party with my brothers.  And they all chipped in and gifted me a BOSCH mixer!!  I'm so excited as I've been wanting that mixer forever!!  

I had my first post op appointment and physical therapy session a week after my surgery.  The doctor unwrapped my leg and other than it being super swollen, it didn't look too bad.

The weather has been warming up these past several days and the rest of the week looks like more sun is coming!  I try to get outside when I can to catch some vitamin D!

I will say, the first two weeks were the worst!!
But I feel as though I'm turning a corner.  I just have to keep reminding myself how far I've come!!  Otherwise I get super frustrated that I'm not where I want to be!  Physical therapy as become my life as I try to squeeze in 2-3 sessions a day at home and I go in twice a week to work with the doctor.  
I'll just keep plugging away!

Happy Monday!

Monday, February 20, 2017

What I've been reading.

In my quest to simplify my life and do more things I enjoy, I picked up a couple of books the other week.
Like I said before...less phone/computer time, more reading!  My problem though is once I pick up a book I have a tendency to just sit and keep reading all day and throwing everything else to the wind.  So I'm working on giving myself a time limit...it's a work in progress.

Rory and I hit up the library for her to grab a few books and also I wanted to pick up "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up".  Unfortunately, they didn't have any on the shelf and I didn't want to deal with the waiting list for it.  So I quickly browsed the shelves for something that sparked my interest and found this:
"The Girl's Guide to Homelessness" by Brianna Karp.
It's about a young woman who loses her job during the recession in 2007 or so.  She tells her experience living in a 30 ft. trailer in the Walmart parking lot and the struggles she went through along the way.  Not too bad...it definitely held my interest.

And then back to my mission finding the book I originally went to the library for, I ended up finding it at Target:
Thank you Cheynna for the recommendation!
This is so up my alley!  I'm excited to put all these ideas in motion...unfortunately, it may have to wait until my knee recovers first...but it's going to be good, I can feel it.

I think I'll try to swing by the library again tomorrow to pick up a couple more books, because you know, I'll be sitting around a bit more for the next few weeks...

Any other recommendations?



Friday, February 17, 2017

Knee update.

I finally got an MRI for my knee...and unfortunately the news wasn't very good.

 The doctors were pretty certain that my meniscus was torn but the ACL tear came as a shock.  After analyzing the images, they're not clear on how bad it's torn though...complete tear (doubtful) or a partial tear bad enough for a complete ACL reconstruction, or (best case scenario) a partial tear, but still intact enough to be competent and no reconstruction would be needed.  So, bottom line...my meniscus needs to be fixed for sure...so, while doing that the doctor will scope my ACL and decide what to do from there.  

I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing.
And if you know me, you would know that hospitals, blood, surgeries, all of it, completely freak me out!  I'm scared beyond words to be put to sleep and have someone poke around my knee and possibly DRILL into my BONES to reconstruct my ACL.  I feel faint already.

And the recovery process...oh heaven help me...my life is over.

And call me vain, but I love my legs.  I wasn't blessed with big boobs, but my legs are pretty decent.  
The doctors assure me the scarring will be minimal, I hope they're right.

My surgery is scheduled for next week...when I think about it, I get all panicky inside.

So, with that, let me write about other things...
 My doctors cleared me to ride weeks ago, so I took advantage of the upper 50's we had one day in early February and rode outside with Ryan.  It was beautiful and it felt so good!!
Interestingly enough, I feel no pain with my knee when I ride...pretty weird.  This is what gives me hope that my ACL isn't completely f#*ked.
Oh right, we're not talking about that.

 Ryan has been able to take the girls out riding a couple of times this month too!

 Last weekend, my Haley girl was having a crummy day (friend trouble).  Middle school can be hard to bear sometimes!  So I took her and Morgan out to the movies.  Haley has been wanting to see "The Space Between Us" (because the Asa Butterfield is soooooooooo cute...Haley's words) so we saw that.  And other than having to sit in the very front row and getting a kink in my neck I had a ball with these two.  I need to go out with just the two of them more often!

And lastly, we celebrated our Valentines' Day with lovely dinner.
However, this year (now having vegetarians in the house) I had to switch from steak to fettuccine alfredo.  We kept the dessert the same (molten lava cake).  We also gifted each of the girls some jewelry...earrings for the older girls and a necklace for the younger two.  They were thrilled!

Happy Weekend ya'll!


Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Care taker of stuff.


A few weeks ago my cousin did an Instagram post quoting "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."  I'm not sure who originally said it, but I've thought about this quote daily sine I read it.  She went on saying how she does not want to be the "care taker of stuff", but rather the "care taker of her people" (she has 7 kids).  I love that!  

The past week or so I've been reanalyzing my life and what's important to me.  As you know, I've been on the depressed side lately with my knee situation (still no news to report).  It's interesting how when we're depressed we have the most self reflection...at least for me anyway.  

I want to simplify my life more...get rid of all the "stuff" so I have more time to do things that bring me joy.  I need to remember to surround myself with positive people (you would not believe how many people I have stopped following of Instagram!)  Simplify!!  Get rid of the excess "stuff"...starting with my phone.  Do I really need to see the latest vacation a famous YouTuber has gone on?  Do I really want to read about the reasons I need to order some special energy drink and the benefits from joining their Pyramid scheme?  Do I really need to follow people I don't even know?  Is it necessary to be scrolling through my phone while my kids are talking to me?  How can I be an example to my kids when I'm doing all the things I'm telling them not to do!  A phone is useful, but I don't need all the extra "stuff" on it that steals my time.

I want to start doing more of the things I enjoy...more reading, baking, journaling, being with my kids, laughing more, date nights, and exercising...and the process to simplifying my home.  I want to be the care taker of my family, not stuff.

Anyway, it's all baby steps.  
I won't have everything complete on this journey to simplification overnight, but I'm trying.

So enough of my rambling.
Here's a few pictures of the past week or so.

 Morgan had her first Science Fair project.


 We celebrated Jeffy's birthday!!


 Piper celebrated the 100th day of school by dressing up like a 100 year old.
She was so thrilled to put baby powder in her hair to make it white.



Our garbage disposal crapped out last week and I replaced it...ME!!  I did it all by myself!
And I only swore a few times doing it.

And you can see, that when I replaced it the pipe no longer matched up to the other side (in the above picture).  

So I found this pipe that you can bend...problem solved!
And so far everything is working with no leaks.  Fingers crossed.

Happy Hump Day.

Friday, January 27, 2017

So much snow!

It's been unbelievable how much snow we've been getting this season so far!
Sundance has just hit 100 inch base...which is pretty spectacular for our little local resort.  However, don't ask me how the skiing is, I wouldn't know. (grumble, grumble)  Since I haven't been able to ski, I've been given hours in other departments...won't lie, I'm not a fan.  But I guess the extra money is nice.  I've been going to my weekly physical therapy and I will say that it helped quite a bit!  However, I seem to have plateaued.  I can walk fine, but deep movements I still can't do.  I miss sitting cross legged, or being able squat down to tie my kids' shoes or digging around in low cabinets.  Or not having pain getting in and out of a car.  The doctor's have put in another request for an MRI this week and I'm still waiting for the reply.  We'll see.

Some pictures from the last few weeks.
 The girls had a delayed start to school one morning because of the snow.
I cannot remember them doing that ever.
And to cancel school?!  As if.  Hardy folks out here in Utah.

 Shenanigans.

Last November PBS came out with a remake of Anne of Green Gables.  We watched it on Thanksgiving...it was horrible!!  I was so disappointed and it made me long for the original.  We only have it in VHS and I don't have a VHS player anymore...so I immediately made an order for the DVD's.
 And then we watched it to rid ourselves of the awful memories of that PBS one.

 Haley is in Ballroom dance at her school and she had her first performance this month!
After I did her makeup I couldn't stop staring at her!  It just made her look so much older...what happened to my baby?!!!  It was such a joy to watch her dance!



So I haven't skied, but Ryan has been taking the kiddos at least once a week and they have been loving it!
Also, Morgan has started her ski school program so she gets to go an additional day as well!

 For the record Haley is wearing all of my old ski stuff (boots, pants, jacket, helmet)...and she's growing out of them quickly!  My baby is passing me by.  *sniff, sniff.


So, in others news, I've been riding a bit here and there.  On rollers.  There's no way I'm going out in this Arctic tundra!!  I can only do 30 minutes before I crack.  But it feels good to sweat and get a little work out in, even if it is sporadically.  I've been a bit on the depressed side with this whole knee situation so it's nice to be able to do something that I know...back to my roots.

Happy weekend ya'll.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Ski Day Fail

Trying to make a knee brace look good.

This year I made a switch from Ski Instructor to Ski Team Coach.  You may think there isn't much difference between the two, however, you would be so wrong!  Although the fundamentals of skiing is the same, ski racing is a whole new ballgame!  Now, I have had a lot of competitive experience throughout my life, but nothing I've done compares to ski racing!  Slalom, GS, whatever...it's all intense!  Basically you throw all fundamentals to the wind and it's all about getting down that mountain as fast as you possibly can!  The kids on ski team are amazing!  So much talent and so little fear (at least they don't show it).  Instead of spending the day on the mountain on Greens (sometimes blues) and teaching how to wedge or parallel ski like previous years...I'm spending the day running the kids through gates or skiing crud on black diamonds (hoping that I look like I know what I'm doing, ha!)  I was hoping that switching to Ski Team Coach it would push me a little more and challenge me with teaching higher level skiing.

Unfortunately, it all came to a halt when I ate sh#t while doing a warm up run with my group.
Yes, a warm up run!  So lame.  I wish I had some epic story to tell...but alas, I don't.  Just skiing down (it was a groomed run and everything) making some GS turns with my group following along behind me when I caught an edge and down I went.  I felt my knee twist and it hurt like the dickens.  I sucked it up and tried to shake it off by skiing a couple more hours with my group...but by lunch I had to throw in the towel and accept the fact that it wasn't getting better.  

The next day I got it checked out, x-ray showed fluid/blood around the joint and I was referred to a orthopedic specialist.  He suspects a meniscus tear.  However, an MRI would tell us for sure.  I'm under workers comp. and instead of an MRI they have decided I should do a few weeks of physical therapy.  So, in the meantime I get to accessorize with a sweet knee brace.  And no work.  No ski team.  No nothing.  

 (warning: a lot of complaining coming)
I feel old and helpless.  I hate not being able to move like I normally would and do the things I normally would do.  Not only is my knee an issue but my hip is starting to pay the price as well.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm of how I'm walking or what, but I think my hip is hurting worse than my knee at this point!  I wake up with it aching soooooo bad!!!
I feel like such an old lady!  (wait, did I say that already?)

Anyway, this has been a difficult stretch for me.
I've been pretty down and out...I hate that.
How am I supposed to survive the winter if I can't ski?!
I'm hoping that nothing is actually torn and with a little time off it will heal up in no time and I'll be back to my normal self...instead of bitchy mom, who is about ready to just chop my leg off completely because it's pretty much useless to me at this point.

Tomorrow I meet with a physical therapist.
Wish me luck.


Thursday, January 5, 2017

Christmas 2016

What a magical Christmas we had!
However, always leading up to it I feel a bit frazzled and think there is NO WAY I'm ever going to pull everything off in time...but in the end it all falls into place.  
I try to make sure I remember the true meaning of Christmas and partake in all the Christmas-y  things leading up to the big day...and I do say, I think I'm getting better at it every year!

We spent Christmas Eve at my brother Matt and his family's home (as per tradition).
We got home that evening and got the kiddos into bed...I don't think the older girls actually fell asleep until maybe 1:00 in the morning!  Which made for a late night for us!!
But around midnight the snow starting falling and we all knew we were going to wake up to a Winter Wonderland!

 Christmas is my favorite!  Honestly, it's just the absolute best when I have children to share it with!  Growing up my mom always made Christmas morning magical, truly she did.

As a mom now, there is nothing better than seeing my children come down the stairs to find out that Santa actually came!!

 The little ones fell in love with their American Girl dolls.
I cherished my own growing up and I hope they do the same with theirs.
Piper wanted Mary Ellen and Rory, Samantha (which is the one I had growing up).

 Haley and Morgan scored big with new bikes this year!  (It's kinda nice having a husband in the industry!)  Morgan has been talking about racing road for a while now, and of course you say those words in this household Ryan is ALL over it!  Ha!  And Haley, has been dreaming of her own beach cruiser.  We've ALWAYS told her no way...complete with a list of reasons why; they're too big and don't fit well in the garage, way too heavy and we can't take it anywhere, yadda yadda.  So you can imagine her total shock when she came down the stairs.  In fact, we told her "no" so many times she didn't believe the bike was actually for her!

 The girls have always participated with gift giving growing up, whether it's artwork or a craft they've made or cards, they seem to always have something under the tree for other family members.  But as Haley and Morgan get older its been fun to see them actually shop for others with money they've earned here and there.  

It was the most relaxing morning!

Later that day we cleaned up and my family came over to celebrate.
I served up a ham feast and we did more gift exchanging.

 And of course the day wouldn't be complete without Rory falling asleep somewhere...she found a good spot with grandpa.


 Morgan had been wanting a trapper hat with matching flannel shirt...her wish came true!
I think she wore that shirt for a week straight!  And she wears that hat every day!

 Jeff and Jess.

My mom with my little niece, Rowan.

What a wonderful weekend!

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