Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sofa Surfing...my life now.

It's been a week and two days since I've been put on bed rest. I think I'm close to losing my mind! I've become incredibly ornery and depressed lately. My day consists of waking up around 7-7:30 and coming down stairs...sit...and basically watch Ryan run all around getting the girls fed, dressed and out the door for school. I sometimes help them put shoes on or comb their hair and then I feel like I've somehow contributed. I eat breakfast...then sit some more. I usually spend my time reading (I finished The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Soul Catcher so far) and tooling around online. I look forward to meals (is that sad). I sometimes help with folding clothes while chatting with my mom...she spends the days with us helping and then goes home when Ryan get finished with work and I'm so grateful! That's something else I enjoy...being with my mom everyday...I'm so lucky to have her here! Every dinner this week has been brought to us from women in our church...goodness, I'm so grateful for that too! It's actually kinda fun not knowing what we're eating...it's like a little surprise I get to look forward to everyday! And let me just say that there are some fantastic cooks in this neighborhood! So yeah, we eat dinner (usually the one meal that I actually eat at the table), and then I watch Ryan run all around getting the girls bathed and ready for bed. And if I don't fall asleep watching something on TV earlier, I go to bed at 10:00.

Yep, pretty dull.

I feel very disconnected with my family. I haven't held my Piper in over a week...I miss that. I look forward to rocking her again. I look forward to walking Haley to and from school...I miss seeing her run out of the building toward me while I wait for her by the playground. I miss baking with Morgan...my little sweet tooth. It's good to feel needed...and I just don't feel like I am. It's a crummy feeling.

And I know there are people who get put on bed rest for months! Who am I to complain? Perhaps I would get used to it? Nah...I hate it now, and I know I would hate it months from now!

BUT, I know there is a precious baby involved, my little bun in the oven, that I'm doing all this for. It's amazing how much love you can have for someone that you've never even met!

So, I'll keep chugging away...one day at a time.

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