I've been thinking a lot about how I come across as a mom in public...or in my home for that matter. When I'm out and about with my kids: at the playground, the grocery, church, where ever, do I come across as frustrated, impatient, tired, grumpy, short fused or irritated? Now some days are just plain bad days, and that's just the way it is. But on a whole...my everyday composure...what do people see and remember?
When I walk the kids home from school there is a corner of sidewalk that has a bunch of bushes in it. One day long ago Haley and Morgan scootered ahead of me and hid in those bushes and then jumped out to "scare" me when I came close. Piper has never forgotten that. Pretty much EVERY day walking home she scooters ahead and hides in those bushes. But she doesn't pop right out when I come...she pretends that she can't see me or that I can't see her. I started to get annoyed when she did this because I would have to call for her to come out and I would have to wait a couple of minutes for her to get herself out of there. But yesterday I was thinking..."Who cares." Who cares if I have to wait two more minutes. Why don't I have more fun with it..."Where's Piper??" kind of thing. If someone was watching me out the window while I was standing on that corner, would I want them to see an annoyed mom yelling at her kid to come out...or the patient mom who used that moment to have a little fun with her two year old. Because bottom line...their will be a day when she won't run and hide in those bushes anymore.
Or during Rory's birthday party when the older kids kept swarming around her to open her presents. I was short tempered that evening and snapped a few times at Morgan. Thinking back...why did I have to be so ornery...who cares if Morgan was ripping the present open too. She was excited...that's all.
I often think, what if a camera crew was following me around all day...how would act? Would I behave differently when I'm with my kids? Would I have yelled as loud when they misbehaved? Would I have continued tapping away on the computer when Haley or Morgan were talking to me or would I have stopped and gave them my full attention? Would I have put that movie on for Piper to keep her entertained while I baked the cookies or would I have had her help me? Would I have said "no, not right now" when Piper asked me to swing her or would I have said "yes" because I WANTED to do it, because again, I know that there will be a day that she won't run up to me and say, "Mommy, wing me!!" (her way of saying swing me)
So, right now, right here I'm making a conscience effort to be more patient with my kids. Give them more hugs and kisses throughout the day. Tell them I love them more often. Not get so irritated when they are just being kids, just being who they are.
When people see me in public I want them to remember me as a loving and patient parent. I want people to know how truly rewarding children are and how much fun they can be. I want them to know how much love I have for my girls.
Bad days will come...that I know. But I want them to be very far and few.
I know I'm a good mom...I am. But I also know that I can be better.
1 comment:
That is an interesting way to think about it...hmmm what would I do if this were my very own mom reality show?
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