Old stomping grounds.

 Our old house has had a renter in it for the last 6 years!  Pretty good run for our first tenet!

It's now empty and getting ready to be rented again...hopefully soon.

Last week my dad and I were able to paint the front bay window and trim around the front door and garage.  And this week I finished up a few things with the painting and started some yard work.  I also discovered a major plumbing issue and I'm pretty sure we will be needing a new bathroom floor.  But that's another story for another time.

Rory came with me one day this week to work on the house.  I brought her bike and she happily rode up down the sidewalk while I painted.  I promised her I would take her to the swings when I finished.

 This house (if you remember) is right beside the river path and just a short distance down the path is a tree swing.  I've spent numerous hours at this tree swing when Haley and Morgan were little.  And the river path was my go to for exercise...so many walks were had on that path!

It was so nostalgic bringing Rory to the very spots I took Haley and Morgan.  Although, now a tire swing has been added and several picnic tables!

 So many feelings being there again...I know it's only been 6 years...but that time of my life was so incredibly new to me.  I had just moved away from my hometown, away from my family and I was a brand new mom.  It was so many things...it was a very scary, stressful, lonely and frustrating time of my life.  But also, so very wonderful and exciting!  I think every woman will remember the first few years of being a new mom, there is really nothing that compares to it.  

 I told Rory all about taking Haley and Morgan on this very path, and how in looked in every season.  I told her how parts of the path used to look (because some of it has changed).  

 I took her picture in spots that I remembered taking pictures of Haley and Morgan.

So of course I had to hunt down some old photos of the older girls on the path from back in the day.

It's been a rough few days...dealing with house stuff (rental and our own).  But this day with Rory walking on the path that I know and love...and seeing so many familiar faces in the hood stop by and say hello, brought me so much joy.  

Some things...like my memories in this neighborhood, will forever be a part of me. 

Girls Camp

This morning at 6 AM Ryan and I dropped off Haley for a week at girls camp.

Haley with Grandma and Grandpa.

Girls Camp is a program through our church, and it's for all girls between 12 and 17.  Haley isn't quite 12 yet, but since her birthday is right around the corner they extended the invite to her as well.

Now, Haley went to Camp Big Springs (a school district camp out) last year for a week...so this wouldn't be her first camp out away from us.  She was pretty nervous last year about being away from home for that long, but it gave her a lot comfort knowing she was just going to our local mountains and would only be about 30 minutes away.  This time, however, she is going to Lake Powell...about 5 hours away.  She has been so excited about this trip...that is, until last night.  She barely slept, and was so worked up and scared...she even crawled into our bed at some point in the night...she NEVER does that!  

As a parent, I know this is going to be a grand experience for her...I mean really, they are going to have so much fun...and, they're going to be on a houseboat for crying out loud!  How fun it that?!  She's going to be with other girls she knows, and the most fantastic leaders.  BUT, it has to be her choice...I will not force her to go.  

By morning, she was ready...she wanted to go, she was nervous still, but we could tell, she really did want to go. So Ryan and I drove her to the church where she got a bit emotional again about leaving.  I kid you not...as a mother, this part kills me.  I have to fight every fiber in my being not to just whisk her back home and have her not go.  She may be nervous and scared, but little does she know, I'm completely falling apart inside, fighting back tears.  As moms, we have to put on our brave faces and convince our children that this is the best thing for them.  It's a great opportunity, with great people, and a she'll make life long memories.  But why is it so hard to let them go?!!  As we drove away I could see the other girls starting to swoop in and hopefully taking her under their wing.  

I know, it's silly...she's only going to be gone til Friday.

But, I worry...that's what I do best.  I hope she's having fun.  I hope she doesn't get homesick.  I hope she remembers to put on her sunscreen.  

I miss her...a lot.  My heart aches.

I'm allowing myself one day to wallow...but that's it.

I just love that girl so much.

Monday

I want to share with you all what I did today.  Without guilt...because that's the way it should be.  

Got up around 7:15.  Got the girls breakfast (Haley always makes her own breakfast...and sometimes she has already eaten and made her lunch before I even get down the stairs...I know...what a girl!).  Then I pack their lunches and Ryan rides with them to school at 8:20.  Then I have breakfast...and this morning I enjoyed a cup a coffee (guilt free) along side it.  When Ryan got back we chatted for a few minutes (while we sipped our coffee) while the little ones watched some Netflix before he headed off to work.

I then got ready for the day, changed out of my pj's and into...wait for it...sweats (but they were cute sweats, at least in my eyes, ha!) and slapped on some mascara and lipstick and put my hair up...good to go.  

By this point the little ones ran outside to play with their neighbor friend and I cleaned the kitchen and straightened up while talking to my mom (gotta love talking using ear buds and having hands free!)...we probably talked for about an hour...but that's very normal when I talk to my mom...we just can't help it.

11:30 I get the little ones' lunch on the table and get Piper ready for school (PM kindergarten).  At 12:10 we're out the door...today I rode my bike and the little ones scootered there.

When we got back from dropping Piper off I made my lunch (fruit smoothie) and then cuddled up on the couch with Rory and watched...not one...but TWO episodes of American's Worst Cooks on Netflix.  At some point Rory fell asleep...I love that she still falls asleep on me!

Around 2:45 Rory and I headed back out on our bike and scooter to pick up the girls from school.  We left pretty early so Rory could play on the playground.  That girl loves her some swings!  I pushed her (and had a little photo shoot...I could not get enough of her smile...pure joy) until the bell rang for the kids to get out.

Haley rode on home after saying hi...Morgan, Piper, Rory and I stayed at the playground until about 4:15.  It was a perfect fall afternoon!

Came home, helped the girls with snacks and made some pizza dough.  Ryan came home around 5:30 and Haley was making some pumpkin cake (while I kinda supervised).  They did some homework while I finished the pizza for dinner and then we all watched an episode of Once Upon a Time while we ate.  And then of course Haley's dessert before they went to bed.

Sometimes I think I can be hard on myself if I'm not busy everyday, whether it's chores or errands or keeping my little ones occupied.  But the truth is, slow days are okay.  I'm learning that I don't need to justify it and I'm learning that I shouldn't feel guilty about it either.  Don't get me wrong...there is a balance.  Some days are really crazy, we ALL have those days...so why not take a slow day when you can get it!

 It's easy to compare our lives with others and the feel need to keep up with or impress that mom (you know the one)...but really...who gives a damn.  Just be you.

Today was a really good day.

My helpers.

After many days of turning a blind eye to the playroom...it's just so easy to shut the door and walk away...I decided to finally clean it up.  I've been on a mission of throwing stuff out.  Last week I tossed three large garbage bags from Haley and Morgan's room...go me!

But anyway, the playroom, I kid you not I couldn't even see the floor there were so many toys and dress up stuff and just junk everywhere!  I should have taken  before picture...not really...that's too embarrassing.  As I was cleaning the little ones decided to "help" me.  I would give them a task for them to do but they're idea of helping was to get numerous grocery bags or empty bins and just pack as much random stuff as they could in it and then bring it over to me.  It was actually quite comical because they really felt they were working hard (heavy panting and saying things like "Phew!  Look it how good we're doing?!  It's almost clean!".  Meanwhile I'm surrounded by bags trying to find the home for all the stuff inside them.

But the playroom is now clean...for the moment that is.
Happy Thursday!

So, how's potty training going you ask?

Well, it's been about a month I think now and she has done bang up job!  In fact she pretty much grasped the whole concept that first week.

However, if I have to complain...which I will...I will say that she loves to call "bluff" when she says she has to go potty, which results in taking her to the potty about 100 times more a day than I should have too...seriously.  Like when we're in the store she'll say she has to go (most likely when I'm at the furthest point away from the bathrooms), and I'll say "Are you sure?".  And she'll be all frantic like she's going to have an accident, so I rush with my cart full of groceries and take her just to sit her on the potty and her to say, "Oh, nothing is coming out."  Great.  Thanks a lot Rory.  Now times that by like 10 for every hour and then that's pretty much my day.  It's a miracle if she says she has to go, and then she actually does go.

Also, we have discovered that this girl does NOT like pit toilets.  She refers to them as "Eww Potties" and will not go in them, as of yet anyway.  She is her mother's daughter, that's for sure!

The time has come.

Potty training for Rory...the time has come.  She's been showing signs that she's ready ever since she turned two in December, but I, however was NOT ready.  I think winter sounds like a real drag to potty train a kid.  I love utilizing the outdoors when a kid is running around bare bottom.

So Day One:  It started off great!  She was thrilled about her new panties and little potty and even peed in it right off the get-go!  I was feeling really great!  What an all-star mom I am!!  Wrong.  About an hour later she decided that she hated the potty and no amount of otter pops or M&M's were getting her on it!  And because I had given her about 10 cups of Crystal Light, the girl HAD to go in a bad way!  So this resulted in the biggest fit ever and her sad little face begging for her diaper.  I held strong...even though I so badly wanted to just throw in the towel that very moment and get her the darn diaper!  She finally gave in (although screaming the entire time) and peed on the potty.  Hallelujah!  

Later in the evening she decided to appease me a little and at least sit on the potty and try...although nothing happened, I'll take it.  I'm sure she peed in the tub when I gave her a bath later though.  Whatever.  

Tomorrow the battle continues.  Wish me luck.

A little reminder.

So I follow this blog called Clover Lane.  She's a mother of six ranging from college age to baby...so she definitely knows a thing a two about raising children.  Although she is much more organized than I'll ever be I find myself gravitating to her posts quite often.  

Anyway, her post today was a keeper.  Seriously, I need to read this everyday...it's a good reminder.

So, here you go...and I dare you not to cry.



An Erma Bombeck Column:

A young mother writes: "I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome -- that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?"

OK.

One of these days, you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age!"

And they will.

Or, "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do ... and don't slam the door!"

And they won't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy -- bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way."

And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company."

And you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti.

No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.

No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.

No more clothespins under the sofa.

No more playpens to arrange a room around.

No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent.

No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.

No more iron-on patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby sitter for New Year's Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn't ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.

No PTA meetings.

No car pools.

No blaring radios.

No one washing her hair at 11 o'clock at night.

Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.

No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.

No more tooth fairy.

No giggles in the dark.

No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?"

and the silence echoing, "I did."



With the winter season in full force now my laundry room is constantly scattered with jackets, gloves, hats, snow pants, boots and puddles.  Oh, and socks...socks are EVERYWHERE!  It's easy to get frustrated of the constant messes that I can never seem to clean.  

Let it go.  

The big news.

Well, after 9 years I'm now officially employed again.  Shocked?   I know, me too kinda.  

I'm joining my brother at the Sundance Ski School...yes, I'll be a ski instructor.  It's now become a family affair.  I've been keeping it under wraps because I wouldn't be able to bare telling people that I didn't get the job if that were to happen.  But this morning I got the official word that I indeed got the job...so I guess I can share the news now.  

The interview process was interesting.  The first step was to interview at a massive job fair...this was quite nerve wracking for me!  The last time I was interviewed was 13 years ago!  I'm a little out of practice!  Plus, the average age of all the applicants surrounding me was about 20...I was feeling a little old.  But never the less, it went well and then it was on to the next step...the on mountain interview held at Brighton.  Unfortunately, it DUMPING snow...blizzard conditions really!  And cold!  A shock to the system as we had been enjoying weather in the 70's that very week!  Anyway, we were divided up into groups and they basically watched us ski, stopping often to give us instruction.  I was pretty nervous going into it...I just didn't want to be the worst skier and I really didn't want to fall!  Luckily neither was a problem.  Anyway, it went well, and here I am!  Employed!

This year as been such a growing year for me in so many ways!  For so many years I didn't really stray far from my safe haven home and the whole mom thing.  Especially when Ryan had a desk job for all those years...he had nearly 12 hour days including 2 + hours of commuting everyday.  I had two small children (Haley and Morgan) at the time, and my days were long.  I loved that I was a mom...don't get me wrong...but I never did anything outside of that.  Guilt, fear, shyness were just some of the reasons I didn't want to either.  I was comfortable at home.  Yeah, I would go on the occasional bike ride, or take walks on the path near our house...but my kids were always with me.  

This is the first year that I started getting more involved with things outside of motherhood.  Ryan now has a job that is flexible...he is home more and can work with my schedule.  It has been such a blessing for the family and my sanity!  I'm realizing that it's okay to do things for myself...it's okay to take breaks from the kids.  I know this may seem silly to some, but I had such guilt leaving my kids and husband behind while I did something fun.  

However, Ryan has been so supportive and pushes to get to involved in things.  My ski pass was the first that got me going.  Getting in the car and going up the mountain by myself to ski was a pretty big hurdle for this homebody to get over!  And then yoga (which Ryan totally got me involved in)...it's been nearly a year now that I've been doing it.  And it's something I look forward to...every mom could use a little zen!  And of course we can't forget the mountain bike series I did this summer.  

I never knew how important it is to do things outside of motherhood until this year!  It helps me feel young and alive!  And I think it's a great example to my kids.  I want them to see me outside of motherhood...I want them to know I can kiss their scrapes, read with them, and cook up a darn good dinner, but also, that I can shred the gnar, or rip some brown pow!  

So being a ski instructor is just part of the adventure!  It's getting me out the door, getting involved, and meeting new people.  And getting some ski deals for our family doesn't hurt either!  And I'm so blessed that Ryan has a schedule that allows me to do something like this.  And that he supports me with these crazy ideas!  We make a pretty good team, him and I.  

Jeff and I

Sundance Ski School, Veteran and Rookie.

Happy Monday!

Sick Day

Haley chillin' in Piper's tent last week.

Today Haley is home sick...sick with a fever.  Actually, as I write this she's out in the backyard with the dogs playing...yes, with a fever.  She has been BEGGING me to let her go outside since this morning.  I held her off for as long as I could...I was able to keep her inside until 1:30...I can't do it anymore.  I figure a little vitamin D couldn't hurt as it's a beautiful day!  Isn't it funny how kids can still run around with a fever?  How is that possible?

I hope this little fever is short lived and we'll be back to normal tomorrow.

I've been feeling a little discouraged lately.  I feel like laundry has become my life...seriously.  The past three days I've done probably more than 10 loads of laundry and there are baskets that are STILL full!  How is that?!!  This morning I made waffles, did two loads of laundry, made a dessert for a funeral lunch in our ward, did some dinner prep, cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the floors and I'm still surrounded by messes.  I feel as though I clean all day and yet no one can see that I've done anything.  Do you feel like that sometimes?  And now finally I just want to sit and turn a blind eye to it all!  All I want to do is take a nap.

Anyway, enough complaining!  Gotta keep on keepin' on!

My kids are giving me gray hairs.

We had a pretty big scare Friday afternoon.

I was on the driveway watching Piper scooter around and ride her bike...no biggie.  Then Ryan came home and I helped him unload the car bringing things into the house.  We got distracted inside for a minute.  Okay, truth be told, I went ballistic when Ryan told me how much we owe for taxes.  The joys of working for yourself.  We were inside for literally 5 to 10 minutes tops!  We go back outside and Piper is nowhere to be found.  GONE...just like that!  We start yelling her name looking all over the house and yard...nowhere.  We  look in the irrigation canal, neighbor's yards, and up and down the street...nowhere.  We check the house over and over yelling her name all the while.  By this point I'm in tears, Ryan is on his bike racing all over the 'hood, neighbors are coming outside to help us.  I run to our good friends' house (Piper has ran over there on two different occasions by herself without me knowing), I pretty much barged in, hysterical, racing past their teenage daughter to look in their backyard.  Piper wasn't there.  Their daughter hops on her bike to help, her dad gets in his car to scan the neighborhood.  I was so scared.  I thought for sure someone scooped her up and stole her from me.

I finally ran back to the house about ready to call the police.  As I ran past our car, I glanced over...and there she was...in the closed up car, in the way back, still with her helmet on, fast asleep.  I can't even began to tell you how relieved I was, and how good it felt to have her in my arms.  Of course she was completely oblivious to near heart attack she gave me.  And I'm sure she was confused why her mom was crying and hugging her so hard.  So glad she was okay.

Later she showed us that she got in through one of the passenger doors, closed it on her own and then climbed over the seats to the very back where she fell asleep.  That girl.

What a wonderful place we live that so many people would drop what they're doing without a second thought to help us find our little Piper.  I'm so grateful for them.

Then, if that wasn't enough for one day.  Later that afternoon I was walking with the girls back home from grandma's house.  We were at the cross walk on a neighborhood street.  A car was approaching but stopping, so Haley begins to cross ahead of us.  I have the stroller and Piper is on her scooter so I'm behind her a bit...I look up and see that the driver (a teenager) has his head down texting.  He doesn't even look up while he lifts his foot off the brake and starts to accelerate.  Haley is oblivious and is nearly in front of the car.    I scream at her stop, which she does thank goodness.  The kid had his window down and still did not even look up!!  As he's driving through the intersection I scream at him to get off his phone...still didn't even look up.  He was completely glued to his phone.

I kid you not, if that kid hit my daughter with his car because he couldn't put his phone down I would have gone ape shit on him.  Seriously.

So, that night I was especially grateful that all my children were safe and snug in their beds...and I could finally breathe.

Drained

I won't lie, this week has been tough without Ryan.  Can I complain a little?  I feel like complaining.  I'm not sure what happened...I've hit a brick wall...I've had it...I need a break.  Rory has NOT been sleeping well this week.  Last night she got up every hour until 2 in the morning.  To get her to calm down I have to pat her back for about ten minutes in my zombie-like state and then very quietly tip toe out of the room.  Sometimes it works, sometimes she just has to cry it out.  Plus, Piper wakes up throughout the night because she accidentally rolls onto her back and hits her staples in her head...which hurts, really bad!  I'll rock her a bit to calm her down.  And then Morgan has had nightmares the last two nights, which results in her sleeping in my bed.  Needless to say, I'm tired.

Also I've been suffering from Baby-Attached-To-Leg Syndrome this week.

It sucks the life force right out of you and it also adds about 15 minutes to any given task you are trying to accomplish.  Another side effect is a horrible feeling that someone is always watching you.  And sometimes loud screaming accompanies it.

I was at my wits end at the store today.  Maybe it was the constant yelling, "Don't touch!!  That's glass!" to Piper.  Or the fact that I lost her twice in the clothes racks which results in me shouting, "Piper?!!  Piper?!!  Piper come out right now!!!"  Or the fact that she has to use the bathroom as much as a old man!  The second time she she asked to go of course I was the furthest possible point from the bathroom with a cart full...I nearly started crying.  I know...I'm not sure what came over me.  All I wanted to do was finish picking out a frame that I needed.  I didn't want to take anyone to the bathroom AGAIN!  

And that's how I've been feeling all week.  Tired and on the verge of tears.  Weak?  Yep, pretty much...and I'm okay with that.  

Just a side note:  As I was driving around this morning the one thing that I knew would make me feel better was a cup a coffee.  It would make my headache go away and it would perk me up.  It would help me feel alive again after this weeks lack of sleep.  It took ALL my will power not to pull into the Starbucks and grab a cup.  And even now as the weather took a turn (snow today) all I want is to sit here with a nice warm cup of coffee.  It will make any pain go away.

Sheesh, I sound like a druggie or something.

Anyway, Ryan comes home this evening...thank goodness.  I'll try not to tackle him and grab him by the shirt and say something like, "Please!!  Please!!  Don't ever leave me again!!!"

Happy Weekend ya'll.

Leave it to kids to tell you straight.

So the other day as I was walking the girls home from school Haley says to me (very seriously), "Mom, why do you always wear sweats?  You never wear, you know fashiony things."  I know, kinda killed me a little.  

I first explained that most days I don't go anywhere and like to wear something comfortable while I do work around the house.  But then I thought about it...and the truth is, even the days that DO go somewhere I still wear sweats.  Haley is right.  I don't wear fashiony things that often...okay, rarely do I wear fashiony things.  Do you like how I'm using Haley's word "fashiony"...I kinda like it.  I think Sundays is the only day of the week that I usually get "dressed up" and even then I lack accessories and fun things to go with my outfit...jewelry and such.  

Truth is, I have been stalling with buying new clothes.  First off, I rarely buy anything for myself, I just don't.  And if I do I'll grab something from Ross, TJ Max or even Costco (and sadly now that I think about it...really the only thing I've bought from these places have been sweats/yoga pants).  Aaaaahhhhhh...I'm the woman in the store buying new sweats while I'm wearing sweats!!  I know, sad.  But secondly, I'm stalling because I really, really, really want to lose five more pounds to get my middle section back to the way (or close to the way) it was pre-Rory.  

But with that said, I really do NOT want to get caught in a rut.  One of my big housewife fears...turning into a pony-tail, sweat wearing nightmare that Ryan comes home to everyday!  Nobody wants that!  And I want to be an example to my girls.  I don't want my girls to be embarrassed by me either...wow, that really scares me!!  "There's my mom...in those dang burgundy sweats again."  

It's amazing how our children will push us to be and do our best.  Like I've said before, I need them just as much as they need me. 

Anyway, I've been trying to step it up a bit.  However, some days it's just not practical...I mean, I'm not going to be on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor in jeans and a nice top...that just won't happen.  But days that I do have errands to run and such I'll try to glam it up a bit.  

This week in my attempt to glam it up I played around with my hair.

Va va voom!

And I'll add that I'm totally wearing jeans in this picture, NOT sweats!

Granted as I was doing my hair Piper and Rory ran havoc through house.  They drew marker all over the toilet, broke a nail polish bottle (that could have been real bad, but luckily it just made a mess all over my hands), and they got into the cotton balls.  That's the reality of it.  But hey, my house may have been a mess, but I had pretty hair!!

So here's to the Bringing Sexy Back Housewife Challenge.

Haley Cooks Dinner

Haley came home from school yesterday chomping at the bit to make dinner herself.  Trying to appease her I told her she could make mac and cheese (from the box).  Ryan is out of town this week so our  meals are a bit more casual.  Anyway, she didn't go for it.  "No mom!!  I want to MAKE something with more ingredients!"  She immediately started flipping through my cookbooks.  I started to get nervous about what she may pick out, and the fact that I really didn't want to tackle this task of her cooking in the kitchen at that moment.  All I could envision was a whole lot of work for me that I hadn't anticipated with Ryan being out of town and all.  I started preparing myself to have to shut her down and say the dreaded "No, not today."  

But before I could say anything she found a recipe on making homemade pasta...she was SO excited.  "This is it!!  This is what I want to make!!"  For the record, I have NEVER made homemade pasta before.  Actually, I take that back.  I did make homemade egg noodles for soup once, but they didn't come out so good.  The idea of making homemade pasta seemed daunting, but she was so excited...so I said yes and hoped for the best.

She pretty much did everything!  She read the cookbook, found the ingredients and the measuring cups.  The only thing I helped her with was kneading the dough...but that was pretty tough so I don't blame her.  

So, when it came time to roll out the dough I remembered that I actually own one of those pasta making thingys!  We actually got it for a wedding present nearly 14 years ago!!  I'm embarrassed to admit that I had never used it...to be honest, I was a bit intimidated by it.  So anyway, I found that bad boy, cleaned off all the dust and gave it go.  I love it!!!  Haley had a ball rolling out the dough, it made things so much easier!

Not bad, huh?

I love Haley's enthusiasm for everything.  She gets an idea in her head and just has to do it right away...waiting to do something "tomorrow" is just torture for her.  She's a self starter.  I love that about her.  But I find that more times than not I have to say no because it's just not realistic for that day.  Like for her wanting to go the Animal Museum at 6 in the evening...I just can't do that.  Or her waking up and NEEDING to take the dogs for a walk when it's a blizzard outside.  What?!  Or wanting to do a very complicated craft right before bed.  Basically, she probably hears "no" a lot.  

But not yesterday.  She pushed me out of my basic routine and she took me out of my "comfort zone" cooking wise.  I need that sometimes.  Kids keep us on our toes, and help us to live in the moment. 

The time right after school and right before dinner is the witching hour for moms.  It's usually the craziest time of day.  But for what ever reason I said yes to her crazy idea.  I'm so glad...we had so much fun!  It's funny how we need our children just as much as they need us!  They help us find joy in the most unexpected times.  

And while we were busy making pasta the rest of the house went to crap.  I pretty much expected that to happen.  So while Haley and I were making memories in the kitchen...

Piper got into the bread and helped herself.  Notice the towels all over my floor...they pretty much stay there.  The joys of living with a 1 year old.

Rory got into the homework/craft/random things drawer.  And with that egg carton sitting there it looks as though she may have gotten into the recycling too.

 Basically a big mess in every room.

But the pasta was delicious!

Haley has now become our pasta making master.  She'll need to do again for Ryan when he get's home.

Valentine's and Tradition

So Valentine's Day is tomorrow.  The little ones and I have been out and about every morning this week looking for the perfect things to decorate for our Valentine's dinner.  Haley and Morgan have no idea what I've been up to...I want them to be surprised!  Not that it takes much...all I have to do is put a vase of flowers on the table and they go crazy!  I love that about them!  These are times when I'm especially grateful for my girls.  Perhaps four little boys would appreciate it just as much, I don't know.  But then, growing up I don't EVER remember my brothers getting excited for a pretty table...at least if they were, they never showed it very well.  But then, guys are simple creatures.  Ryan would be happy if I served him his steak on a paper plate.  But I know he appreciates when I go extra mile to make it special too.

When holidays roll around I feel like my job as a mom is in full swing...as stressful as it is to make sure everything is just right (well, as close as I can get)...I love it!  It's my job to create traditions and add special details to make things memorable for my kids.  And they appreciate it so much!  It's such a great payoff.  I'm looking forward to seeing my girls' eyes light up on Valentine's when they discover candles on the table.  Or how thrilled they'll be to drink Martinelli's from wine glasses and eat off the special china.  Like I said...it's the little things...it truly is.

Years ago when Haley and Morgan were younger I felt more frazzled around holidays.  I wanted things to be special but I just didn't know where to start.  I remember a Valentine's Dinner I made years ago and it turned out to be such a disaster.  I chose a meal that was way too complicated...nothing was coming out right and my timing was terrible.  We ate much later than I had anticipated and by the time we did sit down I was so frustrated and grumpy.  Plus, I never did have time to set the table pretty.  I put way to much emphasis on the meal!  Little girls don't care that steak is being served but they do notice a pretty tablecloth or flowers on the table.  

So, since then I have learned a little bit...like, KEEP IT SIMPLE!  I also learned that traditions are so important!  They can take out a lot of stress that can come from trying to think of what to cook or what to do.  I serve the same Valentine's meal every year.  That way I can focus on little details for the table that the girls look forward to and enjoy.

Our Valentine's Menu:

Steak au Poivre

Mashed Potatoes

Green Beans Amandine

Rolls 

Baby Lava Cakes

It sounds fancy, but it is actually really easy.  The hardest part is making sure the steak isn't overcooked...I would really hate to screw that up!  This is one time a year that we splurge and buy a good cut of steak...and I think it's safe to say that it's Ryan's favorite part of the meal.

So anyway, my point is that as moms it is our jobs to make sure our kids are fed, clothed, warm, cozy, safe and loved.  But I also feel it's important to celebrate life, to have special days that the kids can look forward to throughout the year.  Something out of the ordinary.  I want them to have memories of drinking out of the fancy glasses and eating off the good china, not just seeing them sitting in a cabinet unused.  Celebrate the grand things as well as the little things in life.

So with that I hope everyone has a lovely Valentine's Day!  Here's to keeping up with traditions or starting new ones! 

Acts of Kindness this week.

Life is not perfect.  I get frustrated as a parent.  My kids bicker.  My kids fight with one another.  Haley and Morgan sometimes exclude Piper...the younger siblings always get pushed out of the fun...do you get that too?  I yell...sometimes too much.  My kids yell.  Messes surround me...and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in it all.  

But yesterday all was quiet before dinner.

I look over and see three of my girls cuddled on the sofa, Haley reading to them.

I love when I get to witness acts of kindness between my girls.  

Yesterday when I picked them up from school, as Haley was getting into the car she said "Wow, I really like your hair!"  Morgan immediately responds, "Oh, thank you!"  But...Haley wasn't referring to Morgan she was actually talking to me (what a sweetheart, huh?)  But anyway, I thought Haley was going to say something kinda mean back to Morgan...like "NOT YOU MORGAN!"  But instead she said, "Oh, I was talking to Mommy, Morgan.  But your hair is so pretty too!!"  Morgan was delighted.

Or the other day when Haley and Morgan set up a "tea party" with a bunch of stuffed animals.  They welcomed Piper to join them.  I love when they willingly involve Piper...and Piper loves it too!

Or when I go into Haley and Morgan's room to check on them before I go to bed and I see them both snuggled up on the top bunk together.  They most likely fell asleep telling each other stories as we can usually hear them chatting away.

Siblings bicker...siblings fight...siblings yell at each, this is true.  But it's the moments like these that remind me that they do love each other...a lot.  They ARE listening when I teach them how to be kind to one another.  This helps me me feel that I must be doing something right. And I NEED reassurance that I'm doing something right when most days I feel as though I'm doing everything wrong.

What do people see?

I've been thinking a lot about how I come across as a mom in public...or in my home for that matter.  When I'm out and about with my kids: at the playground, the grocery, church, where ever, do I come across as frustrated, impatient, tired, grumpy, short fused or irritated?  Now some days are just plain bad days, and that's just the way it is.  But on a whole...my everyday composure...what do people see and remember?

When I walk the kids home from school there is a corner of sidewalk that has a bunch of bushes in it.  One day long ago Haley and Morgan scootered ahead of me and hid in those bushes and then jumped out to "scare" me when I came close.  Piper has never forgotten that.  Pretty much EVERY day walking home she scooters ahead and hides in those bushes.  But she doesn't pop right out when I come...she pretends that she can't see me or that I can't see her.  I started to get annoyed when she did this because I would have to call for her to come out and I would have to wait a couple of minutes for her to get herself out of there.  But yesterday I was thinking..."Who cares."  Who cares if I have to wait two more minutes.  Why don't I have more fun with it..."Where's Piper??" kind of thing.  If someone was watching me out the window while I was standing on that corner, would I want them to see an annoyed mom yelling at her kid to come out...or the patient mom who used that moment to have a little fun with her two year old.  Because bottom line...their will be a day when she won't run and hide in those bushes anymore.

Or during Rory's birthday party when the older kids kept swarming around her to open her presents.  I was short tempered that evening and snapped a few times at Morgan.  Thinking back...why did I have to be so ornery...who cares if Morgan was ripping the present open too.  She was excited...that's all.

I often think, what if a camera crew was following me around all day...how would act?  Would I behave differently when I'm with my kids?  Would I have yelled as loud when they misbehaved?  Would I have continued tapping away on the computer when Haley or Morgan were talking to me or would I have stopped and gave them my full attention?  Would I have put that movie on for Piper to keep her entertained while I baked the cookies or would I have had her help me?  Would I have said "no, not right now" when Piper asked me to swing her or would I have said "yes" because I WANTED to do it, because again, I know that there will be a day that she won't run up to me and say, "Mommy, wing me!!"  (her way of saying swing me)

So, right now, right here I'm making a conscience effort to be more patient with my kids.  Give them more hugs and kisses throughout the day.  Tell them I love them more often.  Not get so irritated when they are just being kids, just being who they are.

When people see me in public I want them to remember me as a loving and patient parent.  I want people to know how truly rewarding children are and how much fun they can be.  I want them to know how much love I have for my girls.

Bad days will come...that I know.  But I want them to be very far and few.

I know I'm a good mom...I am.  But I also know that I can be better.