I have a had a love/hate relationship with bike racing for a long time...although I do not race anymore, I'm married to someone who is still very much a part of the sport. The thing with any "true" racer is that they will NEVER part with it...NEVER! Just look at Lance Armstrong, (but that's a whole other can of worms...we won't go there).
In any case, I love the sport because it took me to so many neat places around the country and I gained so many great friends as well...including my husband! I had an amazing college experience, racing with a very entertaining group, making some great memories along the way! I'm still very fortunate to have kept in contact with just about everyone from those years (thank you Facebook). And even after Ryan and I were married we traveled around a lot going to different races, and I will say we had a lot of fun!! Except for those days where I had to wait for hours in feed zones in the rain and mud, or in the blazing heat...that was not so fun.
However, now that we have a family, being a bike racer's wife becomes harder...at least for me anyway. I have to go through a kind of transition...preparing myself for the racing season...and the time Ryan will have to take to race or train. This usually consists of some kind of breakdown. "I can't do this!!" "I need a break!!!" "I want some time to myself...doing what I WANT to do!" It's the same thing every year. Then I get over it, because to be honest...I do have a lot of fun going to races. And I love having the girls being a part of it. But when I'm having a bad day, and I'm at my wits end with the girls and Ryan's gone out training...it's so easy to put the blame on him. He's out doing something he loves while I'm stuck with the girls by myself on a Saturday!! I won't lie...it's hard! But of course it's not hard all the time, if fact I think I do a pretty good job most of time...I think I'm a pretty supportive wife! But I think it's important to be honest about the hardships! I would love to pick the brains of Tony Cruz's, or Jeff Louder's wives. I know that these women sacrifice quite a bit to let their husbands do what they do...hmmm, I wonder if they complain when the season is about to begin? Do they go through a transition like me? Do they have breakdowns every now and then, but then get over it, just to love it the rest of year? Hmmm...I wonder?
But I'll tell you this...there is nothing better than to see the look on Ryan's face after he had a great ride or race...pure joy! It's a bike racer thing, they LIVE for this stuff. And I wouldn't trade that for anything. Yes, I may complain about it every now and then...but I would NEVER want him to stop! And I hope our girls find just as much joy in it!
13 comments:
When you told me you were going to do a post about this, I expected it to be much more harsh than this. I was seriously expecting rage. Thanks for posting it all the same.
Also, those guys you mentioned make money racing bikes, where I, at best, break even racing bikes... Not to downplay their wives' devotion, but it is different.
That's true. But there are a lot of other wives out there who's husbands race pro and get paid crap...oh, wait, that was us like 6 years ago! That needs to be a completely different post...the year of "Hard Road", oooh, the things I SHOULD have said in that interview!
As far as the rage...well, I guess I've had time to cool down.
I have to say....getting paid a good wage makes all the difference. That paycheck allows us to have the life we do, so I accept everything as part of the job and am thankful he has any job in this economy. We do have an agreement that cycling will stop when the paychecks stop. Not that I don't love cycling, but it is easier for me to accept it as a job, instead of a hobby. But I am preparing myself for after the baby is born...I know that will be more difficult. I know you are an understanding wife and mother! :-)
In my defense on this one, I do maybe 1/3 of a full-time pro's training volume and at most a couple races a year that are not suitable to bringing the family along with. I understand that it's hard, but I don't want your readership to get the idea that I am working 60 hours a week and then leaving you home alone the rest of the time, so I can "live the dream"!
OTOH, maybe I am just being an ass and fooling myself into believing I do okay.
Baby, you do GREAT! How you balance everything you do is beyond me!
Cycling is such a part of our identity, I would never want to completely part from it.
Thanks for saying so. As you know, I question myself a lot.
Oh, and also it's different this year. You are running your own development team, which I think is great for you!
Having so many years under your belt it's neat to see you in a leadership/mentor role.
A wife just needs to complain every now and then...
Kelly, I loved how you explained this! I also feel like I'm one of the supportive wives. But, man I have my moments of *weakness* when I think I've said those exact things (i.e., I want a break to do what I want to do!). But, I also really like the races and I don't think there's much that will keep Aaron away from them. (That is except for occasional seasons of mountain climbing, which is WAY more frustrating than cycling when you consider that we live in the Midwest). I would miss the racing and the joy he gets from it too.
He suggested that I read this, because it would resonate!
As Kelly notes Turbo, you DO have "so many years under your belt". You are OLD, Ryan Barrett! (good one kelly!!)
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